One Liners Joke

Generally speaking, people named Aaron have really lazy parents.

One Liners Joke

Roundabouts are a revolutionary idea.

One Liners Joke

I've never called my wife a Dog.
I wouldn't want to Diss a Pointer.

One Liners Joke

I lost my dog so I sent a tweet on Twitter to try and find him
#hereboy

One Liners Joke

Just seen two posts and a crossbar made entirely out of fruit.
It was a peach of a goal

One Liners Joke

My mum's ran off with a black man!
It's Linford Christie. She'll never keep up.

One Liners Joke

I watered a dwarfs family tree today.
Hopefully they grow now.

One Liners Joke

My love for music will be the deaf of me

One Liners Joke

There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate incomplete data and...

One Liners Joke

A mechanic friend of mine died recently, he had an open gasket funeral.

One Liners Joke

People with time machines need to stop living in the past.

One Liners Joke

You know you're schizophrenic when you're your own doctor.

One Liners Joke

All mushrooms can be eaten, some even more than once.

One Liners Joke

I just bought half an ounce of the finest herb from a rapper I know. It was lethal basil.

One Liners Joke

Hand Shredder
For self-harmers everywhere

One Liners Joke

Watching TV always reminds me of why I don't watch TV.

One Liners Joke

Apparently it's rude to ask a woman her weight except when she was just born, but since I don't boast about how many ounces the last thing that came out of my body was, neither should the mother.

One Liners Joke

Define irony ?
Small doors at McDonald's.

One Liners Joke

Anyone who says they don't make fun of a muslim's eating habits are telling Porkies.

One Liners Joke

British summertimes are the BST.

One Liners Joke

I've been gagging to get some peace and quiet from the wife.

One Liners Joke

my friend got bit my a mosquito.. it was malariaous

One Liners Joke

Today my fashion statement is, "I missed a spot shaving."

One Liners Joke

I went to a Blunt People Anonymous meeting last night.
It was fine.

One Liners Joke

My wife's so unfit she can't even catch up with her sleep.