Puns Joke

I was reading a comic and the last page was just a blank piece of paper with a crayon.
Now I think it was intentional, but I don't want to draw any conclusions

Puns Joke

My wife text me tonight: "Do you think you could pick up 8 pints of milk?"
I text back, "No, my hands are not that big".

Puns Joke

Christmas puns are starting to get really annoying. Quit using them or yule be sorry.

Puns Joke

I've just directed an Oscar-winning film about a fruit owned by royalty.
I'm calling it 'The King's Peach'

Puns Joke

I'm a sucker for a large room.
It's probably my biggest floor.

Puns Joke

I was watching a video of the troops fighting in the WW1 Trenches. Just as they were about to leave the trench and storm the enemy, they all started screaming and jumping about.
I thought "They're going over the top"

Puns Joke

I considered getting a new watch and a new battery.
I don't have the time or the energy.

Puns Joke

I've almost finished my fish-skin boots.
All I need now is a sole and eel.

Puns Joke

What has four wheels and flies?
A dustbin truck.

Puns Joke

My boss came into my office today and saw me looking at a picture of a destroyed aircraft on the internet
He said "Explain"
I replied "Yeah it is, did the wings give it away?"

Puns Joke

I was absolutely hopeless at geometry when I went to school.I just felt as though I was going round in circles.

Puns Joke

Got into a fight with a sea creature who I thought was my friend.
Turns out he was anemone.

Puns Joke

It's a dangerous job making TV's.
There's a very high-def rate.

Puns Joke

Why did the mathematician get dumped?
Cos he was obsessed with his X

Puns Joke

I think there might be some sort of wild paedophile down at the playground.
My kids are always coming home hot and sweaty saying how much fun they had playing on this 'Jungle Jim' guy.

Puns Joke

My phone's broke.
I keep having to give it a tenner every month.

Puns Joke

Tried to count to infinity
It took forever

Puns Joke

After a rollercoaster was controversially built over the local graveyard I was up in arms.
It makes it more fun to ride that way.

Puns Joke

Just been down the arcades.
Four quid for a go in an electric chair!
Shocking...

Puns Joke

I hate all races,
Apart from English and the 100m hurdles

Puns Joke

I found it difficult to get served when I went for a drink with some overachievers last night.
They kept raising the bar.

Puns Joke

Have you heard about the invincible egg white?
It couldn't be beaten

Puns Joke

Played a gig in a prison yesterday.
They were a very captive audience.

Puns Joke

When I received my dinner, I only got a knife and a spoon.
It's the fork that counts.

Puns Joke

My girlfriend asked me yesterday if I preferred her red or dark brown.
I just wish she'd wear a clean pair of knickers.