Sarcasm Joke

Guy Ritchie has described ex-wife Madonna as "a perfectly good screen actress".
He also thinks Andiry Voronin is a perfectly good footballer and Gerry McCann is a perfectly good father.

Sarcasm Joke

Now that I'm a 31 year old man, I've found that one of my greatest pleasures in life, is seeing women, either ex girlfriends or girls I was infatuated with years ago, who have now turned into fat hideous beasts.

Sarcasm Joke

Is there something about suffering a bereavement that makes you lose your ability to spell?

Sarcasm Joke

Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir has been accused of dancing on Steven Gatelys grave for money.
What a mug, after today well all be able to dance on his grave for free.

Sarcasm Joke

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names"
Just in case you want to add them on Facebook.

Sarcasm Joke

My mate said, "Imagine you didn't know the word for 'An undetermined or unspecified thing'!"
I thought, "Well... wouldn't that be something!"

Sarcasm Joke

Women and flowers are similar.
They have to be attractive until they get fertilised.
It doesn't matter what happens after that.

Sarcasm Joke

With comic relief being on iPlayer, I can choose the bits I actually want to watch.
None of it.

Sarcasm Joke

So that climb of Joe McElderry ended pretty soon didn't it?

Sarcasm Joke

eFax - "Send or Receive Fax's via email"
So that'll be an email then.

Sarcasm Joke

The police just pulled me over and said, "Did you know that your brake lights aren't working, sir?"
I said, "I'm sorry, but I was to busy driving on the inside of my car to notice."

Sarcasm Joke

Being a woman involves spending half of your time being lost, and the other half, getting there.

Sarcasm Joke

Yes, breathing, living, eating, having money, and not dying in a horrible way are some things that I'm really glad about.
That doesn't mean I need to be a fan of them.

Sarcasm Joke

My girlfriend just got me a DVD for Christmas, she said to me "I know that you love stand-up comedians and funny people, so I got you the new Andy Parsons DVD..."
After 7 discs and 3 jokes, I finally realised that the stupid cow has a sense of irony.

Sarcasm Joke

Nothing turns me on more than the thought of seeing my wife in fishnets...
...Getting dragged along the bottom of the seabed, drowning.

Sarcasm Joke

People.
Save time and money by doing things quicker and spending less.

Sarcasm Joke

CAUTION: If shower gel gets in your eyes, rinse with water.
So...the same as every other part of my body I get shower gel on then?

Sarcasm Joke

Terrorist?
There's an app for that. It's called the 'London Heathrow airport guide'.
Good thinking Heathrow, good thinking.

Sarcasm Joke

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
And there's me thinking it was a dwarf reading out a Xmas cracker.

Sarcasm Joke

You can't get quicker than a Kwik Fit fitter.
Which is great because, when looking for crucial repairs and modifications on a vehicle to which I entrust my life daily, I'd definitely take speed over quality every time.

Sarcasm Joke

BBC News - "Black rhino reaches 40th birthday".
I'd like to offer my congratulations to Ashley Cole's mum.

Sarcasm Joke

Romanians having to flee their homes due to religous and bigoted intolerance.
I didn't think Belfast was like that.

Sarcasm Joke

Apparently 25 million people in Britain watched the royal wedding,the other 40 million were worshipping in mosques...........................

Sarcasm Joke

If mono means one, and poly means many, what does Monopoly mean?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Means "one person owning many" usually properties or businesses.
This aint wiki answers, this is a joke site...

Sarcasm Joke

A policeman pulled me over for speeding today.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going, Sir?"
I said, "Roughly about the same as you."