EA Sports, its in the game session no longer available
I always eat lots of fruit to stay healthy but I don't like apples and pears.
That's why I eat oranges in my ground floor flat.
I've been promising my bosses at top shop a new range of leg garments that would turn over millions, but after failing to finish the product in the 2 month deadline set, they finally fired me, guess I was all talk, no trousers.
The first man to say 'a Dog is a man's best friend', probably had no friends.
My wife is down in the dumps tonight.
I would have taken the rubbish down there myself but the darts is on.
I've just heard that B&Q are going to buy out a now defunct arts and crafts shop.
That'll be a spanner in the works.
I was on cloud nine when I thought...
I really should give my sheep better names.
I've been fishing for five hours now and the only thing in my net is two compliments.
I recently hacked into the bank account of a famous musician and transferred 250 000 to my current account.
I'm living life on the edge.
Paddy's comparisons of women to men on Take me Out:
'let the banana see the split'
'let the doctor see the patient'
More like let the jam see the tarts.
"All that glitters is not gold" - Claire from Claire's Accessories.
My two mates asked me to stand in the cupboard while they discussed something important.
I don't know why they're keeping me in the dark.
I went into HMV and bought a DVD of the film "Happiness"
Just to prove a point.
`That is the last straw or I've found a needle in a haystack.'
People who committ suicide with a fire-arm, always go out with a bang.
I've just got back from a culinary course in Amsterdam.
I was absolutely disgusted with the Dutch method of cooking.
We all want that shiny red apple, but sometimes we have to settle for what`s on the lower branch,
or in some cases we take what`s lying on the ground.
''An apple a day keeps the doctor away''
Unless It's in suppository form.
I've had to stop free entry to my club for people with crabs...
They were just itching to get in.
My daughter asked me if it would be OK for her to have a rhinoplasty procedure done.
''No skin off my nose,'' I replied.
There's no "I" in team but there's a "U" in squad.
i'de like to say im , "down with the kids" but realistically there down on me.
I'm hoping for a North v South Korea World Cup Final.
Though whoever loses will be as sick as a halftime snack.
The new soundtrack to Microsoft Word
It's a key tapper
It used to be exciting having to move all the chocolate hoops from one side of the yogurt pot and into the yogurt but now people bend and snap them down the middle, taking the fun out of it which I'm totally against..
I don't cut corners.