Science Joke

I am Still working on my Periodic Table jokes, my 79th was pure gold but I'm hoping to reach 82 so I can get a new Pb.

Science Joke

Earlier someone threw a load of NaCl at me, I Said "Hey that's a salt,".

Science Joke

Einstein was the superman of physics:
"With great power, comes a higher ratio of current to voltage."

Science Joke

I will be sticking to my old Gillette Fusion razor and not upgrading to the Gillette Fusion Proglide as I prefer a more strenuous "tug and pull".

Science Joke

Why did the particle physicist sell his Volkswagen Golf and buy a GTI?
He was looking for an improved replacement for the Standard Model.

Science Joke

Boost the atom economy, invest in bonds!

Science Joke

The search for the Higgs-Boson is like a cat, thinking it caught the red dot of a laser pointer.

Science Joke

Why could a black man have never theorised Newtons Theory of Gravitation?
They would have been killed when the coconut fell on their head.

Science Joke

I was bitterly disappointed yesterday when I found out the 'super moon' wasn't a people protecting lunar rock wearing fluorescent spandex and a cape.

Science Joke

My wife has decided that we need to stop experimenting in bed after things nearly got a bit messy last night.
She reckons my chemistry set could've spilled all over the sheets.

Science Joke

Prisoners have built a replica of the large hadron collider to try and break out of prison.
Police describe it as a real concern.

Science Joke

My biology teacher said to me
"Can you write me a short essay on what would happen to somebody if they had their sudoriferous glands removed?"
I said
"Yeah, no sweat."

Science Joke

Doctor: "The results have come back from the DNA test."
Mother: "And...?"
Doctor: "I'm afraid it's negative"
"I'm going to kill him!" replied the Proton

Science Joke

I was in a shop buying 'The Big Bang Theory' box set earlier, when a bloke in a black top with a white collar pushed in front of me in the queue.
I went mental and smashed his head in with the DVD's.
As he lay bleeding and moaning on the floor I said to him, "it's true what they say... the truth hurts, doesn't it vicar?"

Science Joke

Do you know what goes through me?
Neutrinos.

Science Joke

On my way to work this morning I was bombarded by neutrino particles and had to go to casualty
I'm still waiting to be seen

Science Joke

So after several attempts of the same experiment, I can safely say
Dolphins really aren't so smart on land.

Science Joke

Scientists say they have discovered the menstruation genes. As long as they are not washed with my clothes I don't mind.

Science Joke

I had a threesome last night with two physicists. It was really awkward.
They can't solve the three-body problem.

Science Joke

I invented a time machine... With hindsight.

Science Joke

Pain receptors really get on my nerves.

Science Joke

Kent has stopped Schools teaching Science.
Apparently 2,500 Scientists without Jobs is enough.

Science Joke

I was doing a chemistry paper today and the question was "Why is NH3 important to humanity"
Apparently "to serve Mein Fuher and rid the world of Jews" i not on the mark scheme

Science Joke

The recent story about the faster-than-light neutrino is very interesting, but I'm having trouble keeping up with it.

Science Joke

My physics teacher decided to give me a tricky question.
He asked: "Why do we see lightening before we hear it?"
I replied: "Easy; this clearly shows that our eyes are in front of our ears."