Time Joke

I stayed up late last night - did anyone else get that Deja Vu / Groundhog Day feeling halfway through the night?

Time Joke

I just found out my grandad shot about 15 Germans during the war
Which is a bit weird because he was a butcher.

Time Joke

Was reading an article about the clocks going back at 2am and came across this;
"However some 90 years after it was first introduced, critics say by changing the clocks we adversely affect our body's natural rhythms."
They're quick off the mark aren't they?

Time Joke

I can't be the only one that is going to drive my car at 88 mph at 01:59.59 this morning.

Time Joke

I used to time travel as a hobby when I was older.....

Time Joke

Before light bulbs were invented what used to pop above peoples heads when they had a good idea?

Time Joke

I saw a billboard with a picture of a clock on it.
I guess that's a sign of the times

Time Joke

Try eating your breakfast before you go to bed,
This will save you lots of time in the morning.

Time Joke

I said to my mate, "Did you know that the new iphone has a time travel app on it?"
He said, "What, the iphone 5?"
I said, "No, the iphone 37."

Time Joke

I bought myself a new 24 hour clock yesterday.
It's rubbish. It only lasted a day.

Time Joke

Despite the clocks going back, I actually feel surprisingly awake for a Monday.

Time Joke

Getting older is like a game of chess
It's long, boring and I honestly don't really know what I'm doing

Time Joke

If today's the longest day, why's my watch still going at the same speed?

Time Joke

I thought I'd kill some time today.
It took me ages.

Time Joke

If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I'd say "Don't worry about anything. In the future you'll invent a time machine."

Time Joke

My mate text me yesterday telling to meet him at half six. Well I turned up at three and he was three and a half hours late.

Time Joke

I think when asked the question "What super power would you have if you could have any?" nearly everyone picks the ability to freeze time and I think we all know FULL WELL why.

Time Joke

My doctor has just given me an hour and a half to live, and I wish there was a way of making each minute feel like a day.
So i'm just going to watch the womens world cup semi final.

Time Joke

There's one good thing about living in the past.
It gives you something to look forward to.

Time Joke

You know summer's coming soon when the clocks change and the paedos come out of hibernation.

Time Joke

That's what happens when you mess with time travel,
Dr Emmit Brown on the guitar at the closing ceremony at the 2012 olympics

Time Joke

Proof that time travel is possible !
I've just received a joke by txt before I've even posted it on here.

Time Joke

You ever have one of those nights where it's so boring it feels like time is going backwards?

Time Joke

Travelling into the future is easy. It just takes a while.

Time Joke

Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like to prefix every question with the phrase "I have travelled here from the year 1987 to ask..."
Which is technically true.