Sarcasm Joke

Some religious nut just approached me in the street and said, "Do you think the world will ever end?"
I said, "I doubt it, it's a circle."

Sarcasm Joke

There's nothing more annoying or impersonal than receiving a 'send to many' text...
Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone.

Sarcasm Joke

I've just logged on to find 'no unread messages' mayne I logged onto Trickipedia.

Sarcasm Joke

You know how you doodle art in your books at school.... I wonder if art students doodle maths equations on their drawings?

Sarcasm Joke

How nice it was for Manchester City Council, to posthumously make the late Tony Wilson a Freeman of the City. It must be great comfort for his widow to know that Tony's ghost can walk sheep and cattle over bridges, and carry an un-sheathed sword in public.

Sarcasm Joke

I took the wife to a restaurant. We ordered our food and wait ages for the order to arrive. Finally a young man arrives and places the order on our table. I said to him "Are you the waiter who took my order?" The waiter replied " yes sir ,I am." "Thats funny" I said, "I was expecting someone much older."

Sarcasm Joke

Oryza sativa: So good they named it rice.

Sarcasm Joke

I think whoever works at the marketing teams for cigarettes needs to be told that "Smoking Kills" is the worst slogan I've seen in years.

Sarcasm Joke

I'm just logging on to facebook to see who's ill and who's kids are ill.

Sarcasm Joke

I finally get this "big society" thing, David Cameron spends 680,000 doing up number 10 and I have earned 680 to keep my family of 3 for a month "we are in this together".

Sarcasm Joke

A staff member at Royal Mail had a birthday party last week, and me and a group of friends were invited.
We turned up bearing no cards of gifts, just to show him what it feels like.

Sarcasm Joke

I could look at you all day but the zoo shuts at 6pm.

Sarcasm Joke

English sport- we couldn't win an arm wrestle with Jade Goodys mum

Sarcasm Joke

My wife left me because of my constant references to cowboys.
This house wasn't big enough for the both of us anyway.

Sarcasm Joke

I've just seen a bloke in the bookies bet on Stephen Hawkings to win the next series of the X Factor.
Well, he might as well have. He backed Team GB to win a medal in the 100m and 200m races at the Olympics.

Sarcasm Joke

Where do yahoo get their headlines from?
I just read "Dutch among lowest cannabis users in Europe..."
What tomorrow?
"America has the lowest BMI on the planet..."
"Britain has the least migrants in the world..."
"Muslim women catch the most sun..."
The mind boggles!

Sarcasm Joke

Just yesterday I was asking my girlfriend how she thinks OJ's life would have panned out if he were white...
But "apparently" being BLACK doesn't MAKE you a MURDERER.

Sarcasm Joke

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can. Not every flower can survive thirst, but a cactus can. Not every vegetable can read, but bless, look at you having a little go!

Sarcasm Joke

I was walking through the park with a mate when he cried out "Ouch! A bug just flew into my left eye! What are the chances!"
"Precisely 1 in 2."

Sarcasm Joke

BBC News: "The most comprehensive statistics published so far on the August riots in England show that those who took part were poorer, younger and of lower educational achievement than average"
They really hit the nail on the head with this one...

Sarcasm Joke

My girlfriend came into the living room and asked, "Has somebody been clipping their toenails into the bath?"
"You mean apart from me?"

Sarcasm Joke

My wife just gave birth to our first son after an arduous 23 hour labour.
Glad I wasn't paying her by the hour.

Sarcasm Joke

Hate it when people hand over a picture and say, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger".
Not exactly going to hand over a picture and say, "Here's a picture of me when I was older", are you?

Sarcasm Joke

I came home from work today to find the wife crashed on the settee:
"Evening love" I said, "how did your first driving lesson go then?"

Sarcasm Joke

I'm the person that keep's leaving full basket's of shopping at shop checkout's.
Take that Tesco.com