I've just discovered that my sperm is electrically charged.
It came as a bit of a shock.

Get celebrity sportsmen into trouble by betting on them in an 'irregular pattern'.

For years now I've been pressuring young girls to join convents...
Force of habit I guess.

The wife's really mad with me because I've built a bridge in the front garden
She'll get over it

I was just about to buy a new roll of black-bin bags, then thought, what's the point?
All I seem to do is throw them away.