I bought a second hand FedEx van today.
I hate the colour and the uniform, but I can park it anywhere.

Last Friday, during my trip round the USA, I stopped off in Michigan for a crazy night out.
It's fair to say by the end of the night I was in a pretty awful state.

A recent survey states that the average UK citizen is less likely to perform the polite gesture of holding open a door for a stranger than 30 years ago.
I suspect the introduction of automatic doors around 30 years ago is partly responsible for the shocking lack of respect displayed by this generation.

I went for a job interview at a large clothes retail outlet.
It was going quite well when she said, "You will be situated in our super sized section so you will be catering for the larger woman, is this something that appeals to you?"
"Only after a few pints." I winked.

Hear about the actor that fell through the floor?
It was just a stage he was going through.