I've just been on a popular fat singer's fansite, and wrote:
If I post something here that's random, irrelevant and insulting to her large [number of] fans, in the hope of provoking a response...
...Would that be "Trolling in the deep"?

I haven't used my eBook reader for a while.
Maybe it's time to rekindle our relationship.

I got a new job at a Chinese restaurant. It's dog eat dog!

"Worker dies in Forth Bridge fall"
I'm just amazed he survived the first three.

My missus says there's some chips in the oven...
I better buy a new one.