Thesen modern day book burnings are rubbish.
I went to one today and it was just a kindle.

I've heard a rumour The Wok Inn takeaway down the road is being closed down due to poor hygiene.
Could just be Chinese whispers though.

If you ask Muslim's what is to blame for the number of times they pray, most will point towards Mecca

Dennis Hopper and Gary Coleman are stood at the pearly gates.
St Peter looks down and says "sorry Mr Hopper... no pets"

I phoned my local restaurant today to see if they have any job vacancies.
The lady said, "Can you wait for 5 minutes?"
I said, "Hmmmm, I was looking for something full time."