If you fib on a court-ordered polygraph test, and the machine says you're telling the truth, can they charge you with lie ability?

My wife says if I don't start believing her more our relationship will fail.
Wikipedia agrees.

My mate told me he'd built himself a women out of old clothes.
Sounds fabricated to me.

I dumped my blind girlfriend of 2 years by text message.
She didnt seeing it coming.

Best man's speech - "First of all I'd just like to say that I hope my Mate & New Mrs have a great fortnight in North Wales...." few heckles "they're going to Cyprus you idiot etc etc" I check my notes and say "Oh right my mistake, it's just that he said he was going to Bangor for two weeks?"