If a vegetarian becomes a Zombie...do they only eat people in comas?

This is a genuine quote from an American teenager when asked what she thought of Twilight: New Moon.
"It was like, totally awesome! Oh...and vampires are the hottest thing alive!"
Somehow, I don't think she was trying to be ironic.

So with the new Twilight movie out, i've been getting asked by loads of my friends whether i'm "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
I decided to not watch any of the movies, and opted for "Team Life".

If you ask me, it's about time for Vampire Killer to become a profession again.

Vampires suck

When I get to the age where I can't walk properly I'm going to dress up like a zombie...
and follow somebody.

Vampires won't bother with Keith Richards.
You can't get blood from a stone.

One of my cats is called Maddie. Literally just for the grave stone in the garden when she dies.

Given the speed at which the human body actually decomposes in the open air, and is completely eaten away by flies, maggots, and bacteria, it seems that all we have to do to survive the zombie apocalypse is just stay indoors for a few days.

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'm just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills.
I should be fine.

If vampires can't see their reflections, how come their hair is always so neat?

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"See you next month!"

After watching a few zombie films I've come to the conclusion that I would be a cameraman in the event of a zombie-apocalypse.
They never seem to attack them.