Lottery Joke

I find it funny how some people only put the lottery on if it's a rollover.
Almost as if they could do without 3 million tax-free pounds.

Lottery Joke

EuroMillions jackpot winner will be richer than veteran pop stars Rod Stewart and David Bowie.
Unless of course one of them won it.

Lottery Joke

Bus driver claims three lives.
These Lottery jackpot prizes are just getting daft.

Lottery Joke

I use to buy lottery tickets every week, until I found out I could watch it for free on TV.

Lottery Joke

I'm retiring early.
I've opened a pie shop next door to the new Euro Millions Lottery winners.

Lottery Joke

Thats the last time I tell Derren Brown a secret.

Lottery Joke

Having not long seen Derren Brown predict the National Lottery numbers, I was amazed.
However, I'm sure that people who missed it and have to watch Channel 4 +1 will be far less impressed.

Lottery Joke

My daughter is named Charlotte but I prefer to call her lotto. Not because it's shorter just because I have a go on her twice a week.

Lottery Joke

How's my luck?
Last week my daughter announced that she was a lesbian and this morning I found my wife dead.
They say things happen in threes.
Well, I'm definitely doing Euromillions on Friday!

Lottery Joke

Just think how many lottery tickets you could buy
if you won the lottery.

Lottery Joke

I'm so unlucky.
I bought a ticket for the Nigerian lottery and only won a tenner.

Lottery Joke

I won the lottery not so long ago. Blew it in no time. I only intended to spend half of my fortune, but the sign said, "Minimum delivery 2 litres".

Lottery Joke

Just seen the 161 million pound couple.
Would have been kinder to put it in Kilos.

Lottery Joke

I tell you, if i had a pound for everytime i haven't won on a scratchcard, i'd probably be more inclined to play.

Lottery Joke

My dog has just learnt the basics of a rollover.
He's one step closer to presenting the National Lottery.

Lottery Joke

The British couple who won 161 million on the lottery have discovered an instant way to look thinner, and they say America already feels like home.

Lottery Joke

What's the difference between the Euro Lottery and my six year old niece?
The Euro Lottery won't be rolling over this weekend.

Lottery Joke

The Euromillions has had more rollovers than Cristiano Ronaldo!

Lottery Joke

What's the difference between the Browns, Gordon and Derren.
One is an illusionist that through misdirection will have you believing one thing when in fact the other is true whilst giving vague and confusing explanations.
The other can predict the Lottery numbers.

Lottery Joke

My mate won a fortune on the lottery - spent the entire lot in a year at the local fish and chip shop,
just frittered it away..

Lottery Joke

So the 113m euromillions jackpot winner wants to "remain anonymous"...
just as my wife buys a ferrari and files for divorce. weird....

Lottery Joke

I couldn't be happier after the draw this evening.
Got 4 numbers on the thunderball.

Lottery Joke

Pie News: Ginsters board members in fear of hostile takeover bid from the winners of Euro- millions

Lottery Joke

I never got the chance to say goodbye to my wife and children.
I won the lottery and jumped straight on a plane to Vegas.

Lottery Joke

To my darling. I was such a fool to leave you. I need you back in my life. I love you. PS Congrats on winning the Lotto.