I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
He said, " Only if you make up the time."
I said, " OK. It's 35 past 50."

Yes, now begins the 6 months of the year that my car clock reads the right time!

My alarm clock and I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused.
Things escalated.
Now I'm awake and my alarm clock is broken. Not sure who won the fight.

The importance of time largely depends upon which side of the bathroom door you are on.

I went back to the 1970's in a time machine yesterday.
I say a time machine, I mean the 18:15 from Paddington to Cardiff.

I love working on Sunday when the clocks go forward.
It means an extra hour in bed and a cast iron excuse for being two hours late.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The Sun: Baby P killer is free on Friday
What do we need to do, collect the tokens?

Time Travel does exist, I just discovered it next week

If time is money, then aren't all ATMs time machines?

This new sundial I bought is useless.
It doesn't say whether it's AM or PM.

It's just taken me nearly four hours to eat a dozen watches.
It was very time consuming.

Today at work i have managed to get 8 casio watches on one wrist and 9 rolex's on the other.
I think i have to much time on my hands......

I once built a time machine.
Yes, I remember it like it was tomorrow.

I spent 14 hours designing a belt from old stopwatches.
Then realised it was just a waist of time...

Maybe I'm not imaginative enough, but if I had a time machine, I think I'd just fast-forward to bedtime.

It's 1:05am.
Only 5 minutes ago until the clocks go back.

I love the clocks going forward, it really brings people together.
Right now, up and down the nation, literally thousands of people are united in looking at their computer screen and their mobile phone and trying to work out whether they changed themselves automatically in the night or whether they are still an hour behind.

Don't forget that the clocks go forward continuously.

My Great-Great-Great-Grandmother called me a liar.
That's the last time I'll travel back in time to see her.