A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
Unfortunately the library was all out, so the librarian just offered him Twilight.

A man walks into a library and asks the computer self service machine for a book on human interaction.

I asked the librarian to direct me to the spy thriller section.
It was all very hush-hush.

Is it just me, or does the library have an unnecessarily rude librarian working there?

black man walks into a library and asks for a book on crime.. librarian returns with a book on irony..

A man walks into a Library and says to the Librarian,
"I want a book about Truths please"
"We don't have that book in at the moment, but we do have this one, it's a book about lies and it's just as good"
He bought it

If Tzameti went into a library and asked for a book on suicide, would he come to a book end?

A man comes home to find his blonde wife holding a gun to her head.
The man screams "Honey, don't do it, I love you"
The woman says "Shut up or you're next!"

A man walks into a library, confidently walks past the librarian to go borrow the actual book he wants as the various subjects are always clearly stated on the shelves.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book about wrestling. The librarian says "I'm very sorry sir but someone has that on hold"

A man walks into a Library and after a few minutes says to the Librarian he can't find any books on Palestine.
The Librarian replies, " That shelf is currently occupied"

Man walks into a library and asks for a book on the Australian wilderness.
Librarian "I'll get it for you, its Outback"

A guy walks into a library and asks for a book about lying.
The librarian says "I'm sorry we don't have any books like that."

The British Library acquires 3 million new books each year, but they like to keep it quiet.

I've penned a few great novels in my time.
For which the library fined me heavily.

A German walks into a French library and asks, "Can I borrow a book please?"
The librarian replies, "Yes, just take the book and leave us alone. We want no trouble."

I'm a librarian with tourettes syndrome.
My life's a joke.

Kevin McGee goes into a library.
'Don't even bother asking,' says the librarian.

A man crossed the road towards a library but luckily got run over by a bandwagon.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on surgery.
The librarian says, "be careful when you open it, there's damage to the spine."

Terry Pratchett walks into a library and says " two for the circle and a pound of nuttalls mintoes please"
The librarian says "OOK"

I went for a CAT scan earlier.
I'm now being prosecuted by the RSPCA and banned from the library for the misuse of their photocopier.

A man walks into library,
"Do you have a book on schizophrenia?"
"We only have one, but they are both out at the moment."

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on invisibility.
The librarian couldn't find it.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on Native American homesteads.
Librarian says, "We don't have it at the moment, I'll put it on reservation".