A man walks into a library and asks for a book on declining standards in modern day Britain.
From behind his Daily Sport, the librarian mumbles
"Get it yourself."

A man walks into a library and says, "I want a book about delusion."
The librarian says, "No, you just THINK you do."

A man goes into a library and says, "Excuse me, have you got a book on how to get noticed?"

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on cloning.
The librarian says "Sure we have hundreds of copies".

Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances?
The librarian said " Well, they used to be over there......"

A Scouser goes into a library and ask for a book about suicide.
The librarian says: "Sod it, I wish I hadn't recommended it to that ginger now."

A man goes in to a library and asks for a book on slavery.
The librarian says, "Ok, I really hope you bring it back!"

a Muslim walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide bombing.
Librarian says '' This one will blow you away''

Man walks into library & asks if they have any books on bukkake. The librarian replies, "A lot of people come for that."

Statistically, 9 out of 10 librarians hung themselves when they heard Sickipedia was back up.

A man walks into a library and says 'have you got a book on Christopher Reeves?'
The librarian replies 'Yeah. It's that dusty old book over there with the broken spine.'

I walked into a library earlier and asked for a book on interrogation...
The librarian replies, 'Yes, but why would you want that?'

A man walked into a library and asks if they have maps.
The toilet attendant then directed him to the front desk.

I went to the library and asked the librarian if she had any books on Hitler.
Sehe said "Yes, in the far-right corner."

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on how to be rude to customers.
The librarian says, "Kindly eff off, Sir, I'm only halfway through the first chapter myself."

Liam Gill's friends walk into a library and ask for a dictionary.
The librarian replies ''fuuk of, youse wownt bryng it bakk''

My old Dad always used to say to me,
never a lender or a borrower be,
which was a bit odd as he was a librarian.

Kate Middleton walks into a library and asks " I need a book on how to keep a happy marriage."
The librarien replies " Yeah its just through the back door."

A woman went into a library looking for a book on weddings.
The librarian says, it`s just up that aisle.

A man goes into a library and asks if they have a book on famous black criminals.
The librarian says, "Certainly sir, we don't have them all, but keep a small selection in aisles three to sixty four".

I went into the library and asked "have you any books on Maddie McCann?"
The librarian said "yes, they're just over by the window. Just take one"

Rob Green walks into a Library and asks for a book on goalkeeping. The Librarian says, "Ooh, now I was holding that a second ago."

An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

A woman walks into a library and asks for a book on euphemisms.
So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it.

Stephen Hawking walks into a library.