I hate getting my social networking sites mixed up,
Just last week i was telling my family to come on MyFace..

Steve Jobs probably had the BlackBerry server as his life support machine.

I hate condescending people.
But, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Probably the single and most frustrating thing about social media websites like twitter, is the fact that you only get 140 characters to us

"That letter you've been waiting for is here," said my wife,
"and you've got the job!"
"Great!" I replied, "When do I start?"
"3 weeks ago...."

The new iPod 3G supports browsing on the move without the need for a WiFi connection. The only downside is it can't make or receive calls.
A much cheaper alternative for the iPhone4.

It's got to the point where i wear my headset whilst playing my Xbox even when i have no friends online. Just so i don't have to talk to my wife.

So Mark Zuckerberg has got married to Priscilla Chan
When asked why she consented to marry him Precilla said "I can think of 106 billion reasons"

Cant say i'd buy an iPhone 4 after that new advert showing off FaceTime.
Video quality is good but the sound seems to have been replaced with Louis Armstrong...

yesterday i got an email saying "you have no emails".
kind of defeats the purpose, doesnt it.

It started hailing the other day, so I shouted Caeser.
When in Rome...

My new phone has a very un-musical ring.
It's chordless.

My phone rang earlier. I answered it and a voice I didn't recognise said, "Alright mate. I've just bought a United shirt with "ROONEY" and "3" on the back."
I said, "Sorry, I think you've got the wrong number."

The wife said "I just can't get through to you, it's like were on different wavelengths!"....
"You daft cow." I replied "your walkie talkie is on the wrong frequency!"

I was trying to find my girlfrield so I asked my brother if he knew where she was.
He said "no, have you tried her cell?"
I said "no, I've looked there it's empty, but I will try phoning her".

The amazing thing about mobile phones is that, no matter where you are or whatever you are doing, you can keep them switched off so no-one will bother you.

Ive changed my Mobile provider from O2 to a new service called Gypsy
It has Free Roaming

I didn't know robots could get headaches, indigestion or feel pain...
But I just read in the news that Sony are releasing Android tablets.

iPhone app saves man trapped in Haiti rubble:
Film maker Dan Woolley was trapped in the rubble after the Haiti earthquake. Thanks to the iPhone first-aid app he'd downloaded, he knew how to fashion a bandage and tourniquet for his leg and to stop the bleeding from his head wound. The app also warned him not to fall asleep if he felt he was going into shock, so he set his cell phone's alarm clock to go off every 20 minutes.
About 3 days after his hotel collapsed, Woolley was found by a French rescue team and subsequently transported to a hospital in Florida.
That's just incredible. An iPhone battery lasting for 3 days!

I recently won the award for funniest Sickipedian.
When the trophy was presented to me, I spotted my African girlfriend in the audience. She was on her feet cheering.
Afterwards i sent her a text saying 'thanks for the cheer' using predictive texting,
...BIG mistake

My phone contract was a con. It stated that for 20 a month I would get 5000 texts.
It's been 8 months now and I've not received a single text.

"Thank you for calling the Freedom of Speech hotline where we believe that it is every persons right to voice their opinions without fear of recrimination".
"Calls may be monitored".

When I go to delete an app on my Iphone and they're shaking, it always makes me feel guilty, its almost like they're all anxious about who's getting axed.

Wife was intrigued When she opened up her Birthday Present today.
She Asked For Something with diamonds.
I got her a pack of Playing cards.
You should have seen the look on her face when i told her they were fit for royalty.

Ever since I got an Iphone I've missed the sound of turning pages in the bathroom..