I bought a jacket from a charity shop. The only thing wrong with it was one sleeve was slightly longer than the other two!

Posh Spice spent 20,000 on a crocodile handbag. Imagine wasting so much on a leathery old accessory.
I'm sure David Beckham ends up asking himself the same question every day.

Should we really trust a review written by the sort of person who writes a review of their kettle on Amazon?

I was out shopping earlier when I saw a bag of oranges that said "These oranges are fair trade."
So, just to confuse the cashier, I bought some blood oranges too.

M&S have added tampons to their Simply range. They're called Simply Red

Whats the betting Amazon has database latency problems before today's out.

Ikea's new phrase is 'You dream it, we build it'. They are clearly relying on my dreams mostly being about cheap cupboards.

I have a sudden urge to spend money I don't have on things I don't need.
I think I may be in touch with my feminine side.

Why have pedigree not brought out a dog food that tastes like a postman's leg?

Been to a department store shopping today with the Mrs because she's been banging on again about wanting a new lamp
Standard.

I saw a bus the other day with an advert on the side for Asda saying: "There's no place like Asda".
Now I'm not sure about you, but I think Morrisons, Tesco and Sainsbury's are pretty similar to Asda.

M&S are selling a new line of hold up stockings.
They fit my head perfectly so Ill wear them when I hold up the local HSBC.

Idea for world exclusive shop.
The only shop in the world that sells packs of 8 hot dogs AND a pack of 8 buns.

Marks & Spencer!
The millionaires Pound Land.

My friend keeps trying to convince me that i'm too stingy with my money.
I'm not buying it.

Shopping. That's why dads don't go to Iceland

I've invested in the IKEA franchise and bought my own store.
The bricks are being delivered tomorrow.

Man commits suicide at grocery store. He opted for a self check out.

IKEA has parking spots close to the door labelled "HYBRID CARS PARKING ONLY".
I'm glad they admit people who drive a Prius are essentially handicapped.

I love to go window shopping at the weekend...
Just picked up a nice double glazed one.

I always thought I was allergic to shampoo,
Turns out your not suppose to drink it.

I love the Buy One Get One Free offers that the supermarkets have on.
I'm not greedy though, I just take the free one.

My parents got a new outfit for my newborn son. The label read: 'NEXT' Baby. KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE'.
"You just can't let it go, can you?" I snarled.

It turns out, if you lay out every book in a Waterstones branch, you get thrown out by security.

Its my mate's birthday tomorrow and he's got to spend the day on the Customer Service desk at Marks & Spencers. I wished him many happy returns.