Whilst watching the pictures of the starving African kids on Sport Relief the other night, I was choked.
No not emotionally, I was halfway through the contents of a KFC bargain bucket, when a chicken bone got stuck.
I love the skits they do on Comic Relief.
My favourites are the ones with the Africans.
November - the month of the year when a load of desperate attention seekers grow a moustache in the thinly veiled pretence that they are doing it for charity, when actually they think it will get girls to talk to them.
My wife's upset that I give 10 quid a month to send orphans to school in Africa.
"You promised to take care of my sister's children after she died!" she screamed.
I was in town earlier when a woman with a charity tin came up to me and said "Care to help children with cancer?"
As much as I'd love to, I don't really have the capital funding or the technology to accelerate malignant bone marrow cell growth.
So I gave her a cigarette.
3 quid a month buys helium balloons to lift starving Africans kids up and away.
I can then use the anti-aircraft gun I bought with the overseas aid.
Today's the 150th anniversary of our local RNLI. This calls for a big celebration.
I think we might be pushing the boat out tonight.
Just been watching Comic Relief and I found the footage of the impoverished and uneducated blacks really harrowing
Why does the BBC continue to use Lenny Henry & Reggie Yates?
Gordon Brown's acting is as useless as his left eye
My wife just had a call from a Charity asking her to donate some of her clothes to some of the starving people in the world.
She asked "How will giving somebody clothes stop them being hungry?"
Apparently they're short of tents as well.
Co-op fair trade chocolate is made up of 93% fairtrade ingredients.
Do they make their profit from ripping off the other 7%?
I love children in need.
...What charity appeal?
Watching those poor, mal-nourished African kids hasnt half made me hungry!!
My Mrs was sat watching Comic Relief when she shouts at me to pledge....
One thing letting her out the kitchen to watch t.v but asking me to clean
The benefits of Red Nose Day are already showing,
20,000 Ghanaians were seen on a trip to Wembley.
There are so many more charity adverts on around Christmas.
Basically, Children in Africa are starving. Any money we can send they use to build wells and teach the people hygiene and farming techniques. It's amazing really how little it actually takes...
To make me change the channel.
children in need: more than a million chldren in the U.k have a learning difficulty.But they dont want your sympathy.
Just your money then
The tagline to the charity Save The Children is "No child born to die."
I found a poo stain in my boxers tonight.
It's fairly standard when you buy underwear from a charity shop.
One of the things I love about this time of year is how those kind charities give out free bin bags through the letterbox.
Thanks to Sue Ryder, British Heart Foundation and Children's Leukemia Research for getting into the Christmas spirit. I have saved a fortune!
If you've never sent a pair of your dirty panties to a soldier, then freedom obviously means nothing to you.
Susan Boyle and Peter Kay in the same room at the same time?
I suspect editing.
A charity worker stopped me in the street and said that some 8 year old gets paid 10 a month to make my shoes.
couldn't help but think those kids have some skills .....i couldn't even spell my name at 8 years old.
I've been sponsoring a child in Africa for about 8 months now and i'm starting to get really annoyed.
I mean, in all the photos i've been sent of little Keto, I haven't once seen my name on the front of his shirt.
When I watch Comic Relief I always imagine I am bipolar. I sit all night watching celebrities making a fool of themselves and then a starving African baby comes on and always cheers me up.