Watching comic relief, there's some depressing stuff on here that truely brings a tear to my eye.
Little Britain and Catherine Tate in the same sketch....

You know you have a cruel streak when you put a pair of ladies trousers into a charity collection bag destined for the Sudan.

If there are children in need they should send them to my place.
I've got a large donation I need to make.

I'm watching 'Children in Need' and I'm wondering where all the British children are. All I can see is Pakis and Blacks. That lot are just Children in need of a good Tsunami.

Just done my charity work for the year!
Took a ginger out on a date

An actual message from my train yesterday.
"Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me!"

An advert told me that some children have to walk in excess of 30 miles a day just to get clean water. The man at the end of the advert said that I could sponsor a child like Amita.
So I did.
I'm giving her 30p a mile.

Comic relief contradicts itself.
One minute they are telling us to do something funny for money,
the next, they are telling us to save black people.

I hate it when I'm watching TV and the program gets interupted by 30 seconds of a program being shown on another channel.
For example, I was watching Comic Relief the other night, but every so often a bit of Crimewatch kept appearing.

Just 2 more Red Nose Days and we will finally have enough to buy Africa.

Is it just me, or do you think that some of the Comic Relief money sent to Africa, should be spent on condoms and the morning after pill?

You know you're going to be unemployed for life when you can't get a job as a volunteer at a Charity Shop

Have you heard the latest Red Nose Day slogan?
Do something funny for money
I love charity, so i robbed a midget and pushed him down the stairs

Donate two pounds a month to the NSPCC or little Tommy won't be so lucky next time. I think it's terrible how a charity can resort to blackmail like that.

Apparently for just 187 per year I can help make sure that 11 year old Anita doesn't have to walk 4 miles to get fresh water, cook, clean or look after her 5 younger brothers and I could give her a chance to be a child.
187?
That'll pay my water bill for a year.
Unlucky Anita.

I've been doing a lot of overtime lately, earning plenty of extra cash, so last night, after seeing an advert with those starving African children with their bones sticking out & all the flies around their eyes, I thought I'd do the right thing
I sponsored a snow leopard

I love having Sky+.
It means I can simply fast forward through all the annoying charity appeals.

I don't know why we should give money to charity for Africans. They always seem to find enough money to get their heads shaved. When was the last time you saw one with long hair?

I was watching the T.V last night when an advert came on asking for a three pound donation for African children.
I thought to myself, why are they asking for three pound a month
when they can obviously afford to have their teeth
professionally whitened?

My little boy asked me last night if Pudsey Bear was a pirate.
Why? I asked. He said; well he has a patch over his eye and takes everyones money.

Red Nose Day - A time to give your missus that one free punch without being questioned.

This year's Comic Relief raised the most money in its history.
I didn't see Dawn French, so maybe they saved quite a bit on the backstage catering.

Today I got stopped by 3 different charity collectors in the street. By the time I got to the 3rd one, I said to them, 'do you people think I'm MADE of excuses?'

My mate was raising money for charity and told me he'd entered me in the 1500m.
I nearly ran a mile.

I've been watching some of the Comic Relief tonight and it really me thinking...
Does anyone else find the appeal videos funnier than the sketches?