I'm currently off work with a slipped disk.
I mean, I accidentally slipped my Call of Duty disk into my Xbox.
Words cannot describe how much I absolutely have predictive text.
You know you're a geek when you try to shoo a fly away from your monitor with your mouse cursor.
Apparently the average PC crashes 3 times a year.
It must cost the Police a fortune in replacement cars.
My mate keeps raving on about how amazing his new iPad is. He even got me to draw a picture on his new art app so I could see how responsive it is.
It wasn't easy. My felt tip pen just wiped clean off. In the end I had to scratch it on with a paperclip.
I was on i-tunes downloading some i-songs onto my i-phone the other i-day, when it suddenly occurred to me
I'm a balding, middle age man having a nervous breakdown trying to be cool.
A question for the older guys who remember Punk...
When you go into your "Start menu properties" in windows and see the option "Lock The Taskbar" do you spend the next half an hour singing Clash tunes?
A man praised the iPhone 4 today as he managed to survive freak earthquakes and tsunamis by looking at survival apps.
Though he did add "although it was a bit annoying that I couldnt just call for help"
Customer: I would like to purchase Windows Vista.
Helpdesk: No problem, em. Which one would you like?
Customer: What is there?
Helpdesk: Vista Home basic, Vista Home Basic upgrade, Vista Home Premium, Vista Home Premium Upgrade,
Vista Bussiness full version or the upgrade, Vista Enterprise or Enterprise Upgrade, Vista 32 bit or 64 bit for
System builders, Vista Ultimate Limited numbered signature edition.
Customer: whoa! Which one do you recommend?
Helpdesk: Mac os x.
Just filmed a video about how you can get a better service than O2.
It's called 2 Cups, 1 String.
Apple's next overpriced & unnecessary product will be dedicated to those people who stand in queues for hours just to get one...
It's called the iDiot.
My iPod wouldn't connect to iTunes earlier.
Left me with a horrible syncing feeling
If I leave my computer for a while, a picture of Sean Connery holding a razor comes on.
It's my screen shaver.
Computer geeks. Hacking servers since 1989.
The only box they'll ever penetrate.
My girlfriend is an idiot.
She says I play my Xbox too much because I named my headset; 'Mike'.
What do submarines and Microsoft have in common?
Try opening a Window.
Yes Apple, what I really wanted was a heavier, bigger version of my iPod, too big to fit in my pocket, so that whenever I want to change tracks I have to open a briefcase, which I must carry around all day everyday.
Am I the only one who thinks it's funny that the new black Nintendo Wii needs a white controller to make it work?
Dyslexia cost me my job in IT. Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files'.
Silly Kodak. They should have invented a camera with a phone on it.
If at first you dont succeed; call it version 1.0
I saw an iMac in my workplace today.
So I grabbed a marker pen and scribbled 'unt' next to the logo.
Dear URL bar, please can we agree on a number of clicks it takes to highlight the whole address?
I click a few times, then click like a mad person only to miss the one time it actually got highlighted in my frenzied clicking.
I went to a party hosted by T Mobile last night. I got really drunk and kept trying to change the tunes that the DJ was playing. Not only that, but I projectile vomited all over the dance floor and started a fight that turned into a saloon style brawl involving a number of people. Whilst that was going on I sloped off in need of the toilet, dropped my pants by the buffet and shat all over the carpet.
If they give me a bad reception I'm going to ruin theirs.
I own a small zoo and a pirate ship. Although not at the same time....
I don't have that much Lego.