Nintendo managers have had a terrible year.
They haven't picked up enough coins, therefore will not get their bonus.

So there is a huge power cut across India, over 300 million people affected directly...
Are they including those of us who can't call for tech support?

My laptop stopped working when I left it in direct sunlight
I blame windows

"volt gun disguised as Nokia phone delivers 1.2million volts"
Can't be as shocking as an iphones reception

Got lost in the woods earlier.
Thank god I had my smartphone.
I would have been well bored waiting 11 hours for someone to walk past and find me without the internet.

iPhone user: "... by the way if my phone cuts off it's because I've run out of battery. I've only got 84% left."

I told my daughter I would buy her the new Apple product for her birthday.
iLied.

I think Steve Jobs was asking for it in truth.
With the amazing GPS feature on the iphone 4, it wasn't going to take the grim reaper much effort to find him.

Why do people buy Apple Macs?
They keep on breaking Windows.

After careful consideration I've decided i'm giving up using autocorrect on my iPhone for Kent.

"Intel launches tablet processor".
Now we even have a PC term for drug dealer.

My wife said to me "Would you run into a burning building to save me?"
"Of course I would" I replied.
"The batteries for my xbox aren't going to find themselves"

I bought a smart phone the other day.
It was wearing a tuxedo and a bow tie.

"I'm a PC and I'm eight-and-a-half years old."
I didn't find Microsoft's new ad too clear.
I always thought a PC was a 'personal computer', not a 'provocative child'?

I recently made a car out of windows.
But it crashed.

Apple will now offer a free iPhone case for all iPhone users. It's not going to help reception, but it protects the iPhone after you throw it against the wall.

My PC is so slow this morning, I swear if it had a tongue it would lick the screen.

A local Apple store was burgled for over 10k of merchandise.
Police remain hopeful they can find and return both computers.

I hate my iPhone always auto correcting my swear words...piece of shut.

I'm dating a hacker. She keeps sending me raunchy pictures of myself.

Sitting here, playing FIFA 11, before the night of the exam that will decide my entire future. I just can't help but not feeling ashamed with myself...
I really should have bought FIFA 12 by now.

As my plane flew through the clouds, I started to get nervous. What if we hit all that data people are storing up here now?

So, the new Microsoft adverts shows a man using the 'In Private' mode to search for jewellery. All you cynical people out there thinking that it would never be used this way.
In fact, I spent much of the day looking for pearl necklaces....

Wish my friends were more like 'Google'.
It never judges me, no matter what I ask it to do.

So the iPad is out in the UK now great!
If only there was a more dense version that I could put in my pocket and take it with me every where I go.