My teacher asked me, "Do you think exams are getting easier?"
I said, "Well, looking at the results over the last 20 years, I'd have to say yes."
He said, "Well done. That's an 'A'."

When I found out that my son was being picked on and tormented, I took matters into my own hands and went down to the school to confront the bullies myself.
I thought I was helping but he was furious when he found out what I had done.
He said I completely destroyed his credibility as headmaster.

I am totally behind the teachers and fully support their strike action. In fact I think they should strike for much longer to really send a message to the government.
So I propose they cancel the planned one day strike set for Thursday and strike for about 6 weeks, say from the middle of July until the end of August.

I'm too cool for school...
Too old as well according to the police...

How can you tell when the school kids are on holiday ?
Because this site is now on a 6 week shut down !!!

why do we go to school if , school is for learning, learning is knowledge, knowledge is power, power corupts, coruption leads to crime, and crime doesnt pay?

I walked past Macdonalds earlier today and there was a queue from the managers office all the way up the high street.....
It must be A Level results week.

I was always told that 'putting my hand up' in school was a good thing...
but apparantely Miss Robinson's skirt is not what my parents meant.

I tried teaching one of my students what "sharing" means.I showed him videos of kids and adults sharing, nothing.I described real life examples and still nothing.After an endless amount of teaching, the act of sharing still confused him.
I gave up.
"Shalom" he said as he left the room.

My geography teacher is brilliant.
I wouldn't swap him for all the tea in Denmark.

My girfriend has decided to do a night school course on "How to become a more independent person."
She said "Maybe we could go together?"
I think she may have missed the point.

I live in london,but my mum didn't want me going to school there because of all the jamaicans.
She isnt racist,she just thought i deserved a chance at winning something on sports day

I think I know around 90% of the topics for my maths exam next week.
Unfortunately, percentages aren't one of them...

At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed."
Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen."
One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says:
"Do you have any idea who I am?"
"No," says the invigilator.
"Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack.

"Gud luk 2 evry1 gettin ther resultz 2moro"
Thank you - I can tell you your English result already if you want.

Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school.
But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.

BBC News: "Teachers all across Britain are holding a strike tomorrow regarding recent payment cuts."
Somebody should tell them that it's their own time they're wasting, not ours.

What's the difference between A level geography and GCSE geography?
For A level you need 6 colouring pencils instead of 4.

I was called in to school to see the teacher today.
"We're a bit concerned about Lucy, Mr Carter as she seems disturbed about something. She spends a lot of time in the girls toilets and refuses to get changed for PE."
"That is worrying." I agreed, scratching my chin. "When she leaves for school she's Michael."

Teacher: "Imagine you are in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?"
Boy:" Easy, stop imagining."

My PE teacher is very strict, if you forget your kit, he makes you do the lesson with no bottoms on!
Well, at least the rules apply to him as well, he always forgets to bring his rugby shorts.

I've just failed my course on 'overcoming self doubt'.
I knew I would.

At school, many people ask me why I'm so quiet all the time.
Well, you can't really plan a killing spree out loud.

The school register:
The kid from Eastern Europe - Check
The kid with Tourette's - Tick
The birthday boy - "Present"
The deaf kid - "Ear"
The kid on drugs - "Hi"

If you've failed your exams, don't panic. You do have a number of options.
Perhaps an overdose or jumping in front of a train.