If they don't find the Higgs Boson soon I don't know how I am going to hold myself together.

As I lay beneath the stars taking hundreds of spectacular pictures I couldn't help but think...
I've just taken voyeurism to an all new level of low.

Do you think if astronauts go on the internet it says...
Meet singles in Low Earth Orbit.

Invertebrates give in to pressure far too easily,
They've no backbone.

Why do maths teachers not like dancing?
They can't handle the func.

The discovery that neutrinos can travel faster than the speed of light has caused surprise in the scientific community.
No-one saw that coming.

Gravity is a law. Lawbreakers will be brought down!

One angry Neutrino squares up to another Neutrino, looking for a fight,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week he says!

Why is angle B 60 degrees?
Bcos.

The Higgs Boson.
Ending awkward moments at supermarket checkouts since yesterday.

What do you call the equipment you use to rush Barcadi, Pineapple and Coconut together at speed?
A large Pina Collider.

Guardian: Scientists create GM mice with stutter to study condition's causes
Let me save you the time. In this instance, you're going to find that scientists caused it.

I was thinking about the Physics behind certain coloured objects becoming hotter than others in the sun.
Isn't it ironic how black things always seem to attract the most heat?

My tedious mate won't shut up about a Group 13 metalloid with atomic number 5.
Bore on.

Apparently a human foetus starts development as a female regardless of whether it is male or female in later development...
Which would explain why I like to occasionally make my own sandwich.

The Sun is so egotistic, it thinks the whole world revolves around it.

Scientists think that the more intelligent you are the worse your memory is.
Might explain why my girlfriend can remember everything I've ever said.

I'm an upstanding member of the primate community.

i heard there was a joke section on Stephen Hawking, but because it being the man himself, it got disabled.

`Have you seen the backside on that ?' I shouted, while watching the mobius strip.

I was offered a job at CERN last week, to study particle physics.
I lepton the chance.

sataday night in my house is when me an the misses experiement in the bedroom.
tonight were going to see the effects when you combine zinc and hydrochloric acid

I wrote a Darwinian style book on Asian evolution:
"Thailand: The Origin of the 'He/She's".

Where does a chemistry Professor wash his dishes?
In the zinc.

Whoever lost the Higgs Boson must be a very relieved man.