Science Joke

Scientists have published an article saying that people judge potential mates primarily based on a healthy set of teeth.
Obviously never watched an episode of Jeremy Kyle then...

Science Joke

The Curiosity Rover has just found a toilet with the seat up, proving once and for all that men ARE actually from Mars.

Science Joke

Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police for speeding.
"Do you know how fast you were going sir?"
"No - but I know exactly where I am"

Science Joke

the square root of 69 = lesbian.

Science Joke

Recently I've been attempting to start new fashion crazes. Today, for example, I walked around with a helium balloon attached to my forehead.
Needless to say, I got a couple of raised eyebrows.

Science Joke

My girlfriend just told me I've gone power mad.
I was baffled, all I could say was "Watt?"

Science Joke

Driving around today all I kept seeing were signs saying " NO GIANT WIND TURBINES HERE "
Why is it whenever I want something, they always seem to sell out?

Science Joke

My biology teacher tried explaining to me how humans have many different genes coding for skin colour, which is why our skin-tone can be many differnt shades.
That's funny, I thought humans came in only two colours. White and wrong

Science Joke

Could you tell me the formula for nitrogen oxide?
NO

Science Joke

Just finished reading the human genome.
Turns out the CAT did it.

Science Joke

Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider say they have found evidence of the existence of a 'God Particle'.
I thought He'd be bigger than that.

Science Joke

A lab worker accidentally dropped a chemical on his hand that caused his skin to sublimate.
He was fuming.

Science Joke

I was going to order some pie in a restaurant but they told me it was irrational

Science Joke

A Photon walked into a hotel today, he went to the counter and asked for a room - the hotelier replied 'certainly sir, do you want me to take your bags?' The photon replied 'No thanks... I'm travelling light'

Science Joke

When electromagnetic radiation hits a metal, why does an electron eject itself from the metal?
Because the frequency Hz

Science Joke

BBC News: "Apple DNA code is cracked by geneticists"
Yeah, because finding a cure for cancer isn't too important?
We can just play around with fruit now insted!

Science Joke

Why did the Physics question cross the road?
As a result of an unbalanced force.

Science Joke

My mate couldn't recall what muscles contracted in the chest when breathing.
So I showed him a diaphragm.

Science Joke

So I read in the news the other day that scientists mapping the human genome had discovered a genetic pattern in some people that made them completely superior to those who lack it.
The Y chromosome.

Science Joke

My son confessed that he uses 'e' a lot.
He's such a good student, solving natural logarithms.

Science Joke

Schrodinger asked me to look after his cat while he was out of town. But I don't know if I did a good job, I don't even know whether or not his cat is still alive.

Science Joke

I wish I never touched that cloning machine.
I don't know how I can live with myself.

Science Joke

So scientists are still predicting another Ice Age?
No worries i've seen the movie, It's gonna be another fun family adventure!

Science Joke

How often do i like jokes about Chemistry?
Periodically.

Science Joke

BBC News: "Scientists make artificial life"
They obviously weren't aware of Katie Price.