Scientists have published an article saying that people judge potential mates primarily based on a healthy set of teeth.
Obviously never watched an episode of Jeremy Kyle then...
The Curiosity Rover has just found a toilet with the seat up, proving once and for all that men ARE actually from Mars.
Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police for speeding.
"Do you know how fast you were going sir?"
"No - but I know exactly where I am"
the square root of 69 = lesbian.
Recently I've been attempting to start new fashion crazes. Today, for example, I walked around with a helium balloon attached to my forehead.
Needless to say, I got a couple of raised eyebrows.
My girlfriend just told me I've gone power mad.
I was baffled, all I could say was "Watt?"
Driving around today all I kept seeing were signs saying " NO GIANT WIND TURBINES HERE "
Why is it whenever I want something, they always seem to sell out?
My biology teacher tried explaining to me how humans have many different genes coding for skin colour, which is why our skin-tone can be many differnt shades.
That's funny, I thought humans came in only two colours. White and wrong
Could you tell me the formula for nitrogen oxide?
Just finished reading the human genome.
Turns out the CAT did it.
Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider say they have found evidence of the existence of a 'God Particle'.
I thought He'd be bigger than that.
A lab worker accidentally dropped a chemical on his hand that caused his skin to sublimate.
He was fuming.
I was going to order some pie in a restaurant but they told me it was irrational
A Photon walked into a hotel today, he went to the counter and asked for a room - the hotelier replied 'certainly sir, do you want me to take your bags?' The photon replied 'No thanks... I'm travelling light'
When electromagnetic radiation hits a metal, why does an electron eject itself from the metal?
Because the frequency Hz
BBC News: "Apple DNA code is cracked by geneticists"
Yeah, because finding a cure for cancer isn't too important?
We can just play around with fruit now insted!
Why did the Physics question cross the road?
As a result of an unbalanced force.
My mate couldn't recall what muscles contracted in the chest when breathing.
So I showed him a diaphragm.
So I read in the news the other day that scientists mapping the human genome had discovered a genetic pattern in some people that made them completely superior to those who lack it.
The Y chromosome.
My son confessed that he uses 'e' a lot.
He's such a good student, solving natural logarithms.
Schrodinger asked me to look after his cat while he was out of town. But I don't know if I did a good job, I don't even know whether or not his cat is still alive.
I wish I never touched that cloning machine.
I don't know how I can live with myself.
So scientists are still predicting another Ice Age?
No worries i've seen the movie, It's gonna be another fun family adventure!
How often do i like jokes about Chemistry?
BBC News: "Scientists make artificial life"
They obviously weren't aware of Katie Price.