What's so difficult about splitting the at om.

You just can't please some people. The boss wanted us to be more green so I took the bike to work and yet he still wasn't happy. Doesn't he realise how careful I was not to damage the interior of my 4x4 with my bike?

I don't know why people are worrying about being hit by a bus-sized satellite. You're far more likely to be hit by a satellite-sized bus

The brain is the most important organ you have
...According to the brain

My pessimistic chemistry teacher has a snooker cue with a nickel tip
He tells everyone the end is Ni

Browsing a paleontology website today, one of the pages wouldn't open.
I think I've found a missing link.

I can't seem to be able to study the model of an atom.
It's just too Bohring.

A woman approached me in town with a clipboard.
"Are you happy with your energy supplier?" she asked.
"I think so," I replied, "unless you've come up with a biological alternative to carbohydrates."

I didn't understand osmosis at school, so I was moved down a set.
I went from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.

I've just read that 2 single atoms have hit together in the 17 mile long Hadron collider tunnel.
Women must have been driving them

I went to a physics lecture today where we were taught about how to make an interference pattern with light using Young's slits, which, coincidentally, is almost exactly what I was searching for on google last night.

National Geographic : "Sperm Recognize "Brothers," Team Up"
Good to know that our sperm aren't running around with strangers.

What is the similarity between carbon dioxide and drum and base?
They both ruin a perfectly good atmosphere.

Two men were sitting at a table trying to act cool in front of these women. One man said to a lady " me and him have a telepathy between us"
The other man Added "I knew you were going to say that"

Carbon and Boron walk into a bar,
Carbon turns to Boron and says "if you were a bit more positive you'd be just like me".

My antique Georgian mahogany writing desk has wormholes.
I opened a drawer and ended up in the Nebula Galaxy.

You locked it in a box with no air holes, food or water in 1935. I think I can say with a degree of confidence and without needing to check, that Schrodinger's cat is almost certainly DEAD

I was arrested for pinching protons, neutrons & electrons.
I'm still not quite sure what the charge is.

My battery joke didn't work.
I thought it had potential.

Some scientists say one atom could contain it's own whole universe, and that our little fingers could contain billions of universes!
Well, if scientists say that our universe is expanding, we're obviously in the little finger of some American somewhere...

BBC NATURE: "Flapping and running, researchers at the University of Montana say, may have been an important early step in the evolution of flight."
Good to see the Americans once again at the very cutting edge of scientific research.

I've invented a revolutionary new facebook craze - lying down in awkward places whilst emitting radiation not continuously, but in quanta.
I call it plancking.

I can't see the point in particle physics and finding the origins of the universe.
Why are we even bothering to look for that matter?

I visited the particle physics laboratory, CERN, in Geneva the other day. I signed up for the tour, and found out to my pleasant surprise that the tour guide was an attractive young research student.
I was going to go for it, but it got a bit awkward when she noticed my hadron.

Scientists have isolated an entirely new chemical compound that emits a high-pitched giggling sound.
They thinks it probably contains an element of fun.