On an Inside Xbox video about Kinect and the microphone, the girl at the end talks about how she can use the xbox from the kitchen.
"A fleet of 11 fire engines worth 1.3m and belonging to the national Fire Service College in Gloucestershire has been destroyed in a blaze."
You know that old saying "Don't mix business with pleasure" .... That's my dream of becoming a gynaecologist out of the window!!
Advice to poor People/Council House tenants -disguise the fact that your property needs expensive external cladding work by covering the whole of your house with St George's Flags
Isn't it ironic, after I spent months hanging around the gates trying to sneak into schools.
My punishment was being put on the register.
I just got my head kicked in after having an argument about irony with the fearsomely named "Outlaws" biker gang.
Within minutes they fled the scene on their fully taxed and insured motorcycles whilst ensuring they were wearing their crash helmets as instructed to do so under the Road Safety Act 1973.
If TV series 'Bad Girls' has taught me anything prisons are exclusively populated by bad actors.
Lindsey should be fine.
I think I know around 90% of the topics for my maths exam next week.
Unfortunately, percentages aren't one of them...
"Church Worker Stabbed At Anti-Crime Event "
Carlsberg don't do irony...
They always say us British are the best when it comes to understanding irony, well obviously, we have a newspaper called The Sun!!!
My family were getting really upset by my choice to live life as a utilitarianist.
So I've turned my back on it, as long as it makes them happy.
My black next door neighbour has just given birth to a baby son.
She was looking for a name, so I gave her a suggestion.
But she said she didn't see the irony in naming him Rob.
Talk about being hypocritical
I just got 2 identical messages off sickipedia for having a duplicate joke
My girlfriend just broke up with me. She says I spend too Much time talking to people I don't even know online. Just wait til 'pokemonmaster91' hears about this.
I told my kid "Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it."
He replied "Yeah, dad. You've told me before."
Irony: Discovering that a joke you posted complaining about people posting duplicates is itself a duplicate.
Apple have released a new gadget exclusive to the UK that the Americans just can't seem to get their heads around. They've named it the.....
I can't believe my wife takes soaps so seriously, it's not real.
Anyway, rant over, gotta catch up on Wrestlemania.
A few weeks ago my wife said to me, "Honey, what do you say I serve your favourite meal tonight. You can have a delicious pot roast cooked just the way you like it, with the peas, carrots, and onions on top, some creamy smashed potatoes on the side with gravy, some hot biscuits, and a Guinness to wash it all down."
I said, jokingly, "No, I'd like to just stay in tonight."
Ironically, I've been eating out every night since then.
I just watched a dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realised, I just watched a dog chase his tail for 10 minutes...
Last week the candle factory burned down at the bottom of my road.
Everyone just stood around and sang 'Happy Birthday'.
I took a girl out on a date to a restaurant last night. At the end of the meal, the waiter brought over the bill. As I went to pay, the girl said she wanted to pay half. I told her it was fine for me to pay but she insisted and said she wouldn't take no for an answer.
Ironically, she would find out 2 hours later that neither would I.
Britain has been declared the "booziest" nation in the world.
Now off down the pub to celebrate the good news.
I threw a ball for my dog Rover this morning and he ran out in the road and got run over by a Rover.
How ironic is that?
Especially as Alanis Morissette was driving it.
Guy 1: Look! It's Irony man!
Guy 2: Wow! What's his special power?
Guy 1: He irons really well!
Guy 2: ...
Guy 1: Which is ironic because he's a man.