I'm setting up a new website called 'Hermit'
Its an Anti-Social Networking Site.

Farmville isn't realistic enough. Instead of brushing a calf to make money, you should be able to raise it in a crate & then slaughter it for veal.

I've just joined the new Social Networking site where you have to upload pictures of blacks and asians set on fire. It's called Racecook.

FACEBOOK: Giving people with no real friends birthday greetings since 2004.

You know you're sad when you find yourself buying a 60 Adobe Flash Package just so that Farmville runs quicker.

Just tried that "elf yourself" application on Facebook, was rather fun, and decided to create a scenario with my three best mates dancing around.
I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they realise the other person they're dancing with is Madeleine McCann.

When I came home my girlfriend told me that my best mate came and fertilized her crops.
I thought thats weird, I'm sure she doesn't even play Farmville!

Facebook gives Sickipedia a pasting in a popularity poll.
A copy and pasting.

I have been posting messages to my girlfriend on Facebook all day and... Nothing.
Honestly, it's like I'm just talking to her wall.

Started out on Twitter about a week ago, still only have 6 followers... Little bit depressing when a hated and ridiculed Jew from 2000 years ago had twice as many followers as I do now.

Face Recognition Software
The main reason Facebook isn't too fussed about pursuing the Chinese market

I just saw a group on facebook called "United Against the BNP".
Of course they are, half of their players and most of their fans are foreign.

Regarding its site being shut down due to hackers, Twitter's bosses said: "We are defending against a denial-of-service attack, and will update status again shortly."
Presumably on Facebook.

True ignorance is spending your Friday night on facebook, laughing at those who are online for being losers.

Why can't facebook get it right...
I don't like hitting women, I'm just a fan of it.

I took this personality test on the internet, and it said... "Describe yourself."
I answered, "I thought you were doing that for me?"

My wife's not talking to me because I won't accept her as a friend on facebook.
I've told her, the only people I accept as friends, are people I actually like.

Why are there photos of dead African babies on my Facebook?
I thought Children In Need wasnt till Friday?

Just saw a Facebook group
'Treat your girl how you treat your X box',
well i gave my X box the red ring of death, not sure she would want that to be honest?

I made a facebook group to try and stop people using Sickipedia jokes as facebook groups.
Only 10 people joined, I forgot all the other Sickipedians were busy with incest or pushing Stephen Hawking down a hill.

The only time women will be asked 'what is on your mind?' is when they log onto Facebook.

I can't breathe. I'm crying and hyperventilating while I'm trying to search for my inhaler whilst dad keeps yelling at me. I can't even think straight.
Yet I still have time to post this as my Facebook status.

If carlsberg did Facebook....
chat would probably work.

My friends facebook status was
"sydnee owns kayla's face!!!"
apparently replying, "but i own her throat"
is not an appropriate comment

Facebook Event - Kiss An Asian Day
Sure, I'll attend. Just as a warning though, I'm from Glasgow. I can't be held responsible if you don't appreciate my kiss.