Anyone else find it funny that on Facebook's FarmVille all the lonely sheep are black!

Google+ is like a gym membership.
Everyone signs up for it but never uses it

Women write the most pointless things on Facebook.
I've just seen a status saying:
'I'm sitting here with a cup of tea, I can't believe how cold it is, I'm not happy!!!'
Is that really worth putting on Facebook?
Just make yourself another one.

I said to my daughter, "Where are you going all dressed up?"
She said, "The bathroom, I need a new facebook picture."

I was on Facebook earlier. I clicked on the wrong icon by mistake, and before Iknew it,I'd joined one of those pointless, stupid groups.
I'd clicked on "Sign up for Facebook".

I have a friend on Facebook whose status says "Suicidal - Standing on the edge of a cliff".
So I poked him...

'A Glasgow teenager has been charged by police after a photo of himself brandishing a machete was found on the social networking site Bebo.'
What a loser!
No-one uses Bebo any more.

Muslim women have a new social networking site
Book

Earlier today I saw the facebook group "Kids vs Cancer". It turns out writing "My money is on cancer everytime" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.

Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium...

Now, I can't be sure but judging by various Facebook status updates, one would be forgiven for thinking it was snowing!

A religious person came up to me the other day and asked me if I believed in evolution or creationism.
I replied "I believe in evolution. How else would Charmander become Charizard?"

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the people you may know feature on Facebook people that you do know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with?

Ok, so this girl on Facebook posted a status which read:
"How can I get rid of this morning sickness?"
Turns out replying, "Try a coat hanger" is a good way to get yourself deleted.

Hey kids, why don't you try a new social networking tool?
It's called, "outside".

When signing up to facebook, I put ethnicity 'black' by accident. There is no 'poke' option, it says 'stab' instead.

I'm starting a collection of STI's any of you dirty skets care to donate any to me?
Ooops, my mistake, I thought this was the facebook fan page for pregnant teenagers.

A hacker attack briefly shut down Twitter on Thursday.
Millions of twitterers were forced to talk to each other the old fashioned way.
Through Facebook.

My Wife just became a fan of "Unknown Drunken Injuries" on Facebook.
It's good to see she's playing along.

I'm glad my Facebook isn't a real book.
Many of the pages would be stuck together by now.

I think real stalkers would be insulted by people who call themselves "facebook stalkers."
Oooh, you click around on different profiles hoping to find tagged pictures of that cute babe you met in a club. You are so edgy and dangerous.
Try camping out in front of Cheryl Coles's house wearing a nappy and night vision goggles then maybe we'll talk.

I think It's great that there are groups on Facebook such as '1,000,000 United Against the BNP', fighting against immoral views. Currently with 640,000 members and growing larger by the day.
I think it's even better that there are groups such as 'I will name my Son Batman If this page gets to 500,000' with over 690,000 members.

I'm beginning to think that facebook is as bad as sickipedia.
I wrote on my status: "Has just slit an old women's throat and nicked all her money"
Logged in 30mins later, and it said 41 people like this.

I'm pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.

I almost forgot to update my status that I'd been to the gym.
What a waste of a workout that would have been!