I've launched a website tracing and returning user's lost trousers.
It's called Jeans Reunited.
My Junk Email:
"Date Jewish Singles in your Area"
"Please give to our charity!"
They really need to figure out their target demographics.
I've just invented an Internet service for tall people and giants.
It's called Wi-Fi-Fo-Fum.
I wake up everyday with the same regrets, swearing to never do it again.
But there I was this morning, logging into Facebook.
Nothing says, My log time is less than 30 hours on sickipedia than voting up a joke that's been duplicated more than 3 times.
Sickipedia is like crack.....
the more you use it the more you:
- get addicted to it
-don't sleep over it
-start going mad over how high your hitting
-and end up getting laid by your own sister in a B&B
Am I the only one who notices the girls with 'Princess' as a middle name on facebook seem to be dirty teenage wogmeat with half-caste kids?
I had a problem with my internet connection this morning.
I phoned BT and spoke to a guy called Sanjay who was based in India.
He said, "There does seem to be a problem, One of our engineers will be with you on Monday".
I said, "Okay, but I'm not paying for his flight".
A girl asked me do i have a facebook. I said yeh i have a facebook, or a mugshot file as the police are calling it.
"You've got to have a look at that 'Cats in Bread' website." Said my girlfriend.
I thought the one with two tails and no legs was the funniest.
What have little boys and other people's jokes got in common?
Fles can't help touching them up.
- Mate, seriously, this might prejudice my court case!
I've promised the missus I'll paint the lounge ceiling this weekend unless Sickipedia is working.
Come on Rob - I'm counting on you. You can do it mate - you can.
So according to a joke I read earlier Sickipedia is a bit like football.
It was a lot easier to score in the old days.
It's more a brothel
Easier to score in the old days, there used to be some good stuff and when you wanted a suck you got a full one instead of just a fifth of the way there
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Knock Knock
Stranger: Who's there???
Stranger: Disco who? lol
You have disconnected.
"Woman dies after Facebook threat"
I didn't realise 'The Social Network' was an action movie.
From the end of this week, kids have got six weeks off school.
Which means that I have six weeks away from the Sickipedia front page.
BBC News: Internet Explorer users have a lower IQ
says a study by Google Chrome
Why did the SEO expert cross the road? To get to the other side | pavement | sidewalk | side-of-the-road | path | footpath | pathway
I'm confused. All the jokes I post on here that get good scores never get liked on Facebook.
It's almost like the people I know don't like deformed baby jokes.
I know I am not the only one who only started "mashing F5" just because they were told not to, in the hope of causing some damage, and smiling when the site crashed for that very reason......
A recent poll has suggested that men use the internet more than women at weekends.
I can believe that's true.
I have never walked in on my wife while she has got the laptop balanced on her knee's, fingering herself with a tissue in her hand.
You know your internet is slow when you have to play the shoot an iphone ad game while waiting for your video to buffer.
Facebook page : "A local teenage girl died 8 months ago. While on Facebook I saw that her boyfriend still has her listed as his girlfriend... True love never dies."
Or, maybe he prefers her now she's dead..?
Teenagers everywhere are taking part in new Internet craze, 'Planking.'
Personally I prefer to replace the PL with a W and take part in that world wide craze instead.
I was telling my young son the story of the Billy Goats Gruff when he said, "He must be a rubbish troll if he just lives under a bridge scaring goats. I bet he doesn't even have an internet connection."