I wish my parents had given me a cool middle name like all my friends on Facebook.
The internet is often the quickest and easiest way to start a new relationship these days.
It's also the quickest and easiest way to end a relationship if you forget to clear your browsing history.
Google just returned 3,550,000,000 results for my search. Cancel my afternoon appointments.
So, in America they have set up a "rehab" clinic for people who are addicted to the internet. Think it costs about $8000 for a 45 day treatment, 10% off for booking online.
I hate all this internet language, lol, omg, bff but the one that really annoys me is ROFL. surely it should be roflysst:
rolling on floor laughing, yet somehow still typing.
'Cheryl Cole tries internet dating'.
We all lie slightly on our profiles.
For instance on hers, Cheryl describes herself as a singer.
I've just been on the chinese chatroulette, 128,987 people online, and i kept getting matched up with the same guy.
No matter what you search for on youtube, there's always a 6-year-old Asian kid doing it blindfolded.
What's the difference between killing babies and Sickipedia's new scoring system?
Killing babies makes perfect sense.
I hate when I go to uninstall some program, and then they want me to fill out a survey telling them why.
Like I just broke up with them and they need closure. "No no, Yahoo Toolbar. It's not you, it's me. Please stop crying."
I've just been on my son's laptop today. I couldn't believe my eyes when I browsed through his history.
A smart and intelligent boy like him should never misspell 'you' as 'red' so many times.
After making an account I clicked on the 'would you like to get some friends?' link. It sent me to Amazon for the box set of Friends Season 1-10. I laughed hysterically for a while...
...then I realised I was still lonely.
Admin1: Duplicate checker is broken, repeat: duplicate checker is broken - over.
Admin2: Copy that.
When I go on the internet I'm a totally different person.
All thanks to ID theft.
Legend has it that an infinite number of monkeys sat at an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare.
Thanks to the Internet, we now know this not to be true.
Facebook is to offer memorials for dead users as opposed to those who don't have a life.
Patrick Swayze's memorial can be found on the Dirty Dancing fan page.
Michael Jackson's tribute can be found on the Bad fan page.
Jade Goody can be found on FarmVille where you can collect truffles from her.
Me and my girlfriend had this raging argument last night as she says all i want to do is sit on Twitter all night instead of talking to her.
So this morning she text me from work saying "Morning babe, what did you have for breakfast?"
I couldn't help but text back "#browns."
Now sickipedia's server and latency problems seem to be a thing of the past!
Is it just me or is anyone else wondering how many people are looking at this page?
Just saw the Facebook group "Have you ever just looked at someone, and you just hate them?"
Yes, this is exactly how I feel, and that's why most people call me racist.
Facebook is in turmoil today, as the ever famous farmville has been taken out with what is reported as a serious case of foot and mouth.
I think I'm going to start a facebook campaign to bring back the old sickipedia.
It seems to work with everything else.
Can anybody else confirm the rumour that Sickipedia is upgrading its server from a Commodore 64 to a ZX Spectrum?
SICKIPEDIA TOP TIP:
To allow yourself to vote your joke up over and over again, simply move the mouse over your joke and then hold down Alt and press F4.
I like most of the features on 'Mozilla Firefox', but I don't appreciate the fact it loads up the last site you were on when you open the browser. I do not need to be reminded every morning of what a disgusting human being I am.
I was watching a film on the internet today and to watch it I had to answer a question to "prove I wasn't a robot"
Good idea, I'm sick of my robot slacking off and watching films on the internet.