Do You ever wonder why?,
all these young Girls on facebook pose and look away in pictures,
with a saucy cheeky look on there faces???.
Thats because Im at the window trying to get in.

The new website: police.uk
Type in your postcode and find out how many scousers live in your area.

I was thinking of posting a joke on here about the World Wide Web
Then I realised people who didn't have the internet wouldn't get it

I'm the victim of one of those e-mail scams from Africa.
I gave them my bank details hoping for 10 million quid but all they do is take 2 quid a month.

My wife left me because I spend too much time on the internet.
So I guess now the joke's on her.

Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' like a free energy boost on Mafia Wars.

I got a bit nervous when I registered myself on Party Poker and it asked me where it was recommended from!

I've decided that the time has come to cancel my twitter account.
I don't like to sound paranoid but I'm pretty sure people are following me.

I just looked up a girl's skirt...
About 30,900,000 results (.437 seconds)

People say the internet is making kids dumber as they can just look everything up but I reckon, used properly, It can help kids with their education:
My 6 year old can already spell lol and ffs!

My asian girlfriend loves it when I put a particular fruit inside her bottle of corona...
That is all.

Rumour has it that if a joke scores seven positive votes in the first minute it will last longer than Justin Bieber does in bed.
Actually, if it scores seven negative votes in the first minute it would still last longer than Justin Bieber in bed.

I'm the kinda guy that's so lazy I would copy and paste my suicide note from Google.

I tried to view some old emails from when I was at school.
I don't know who emailed me but hotmale.com is NOT what I remember.

Christ, if Sickipedia is crashing this much now, imagine what it's going to be like when she dies...

I went into a library and asked for a book on 21st Century Suicide Bombings.
The librarian gave me the book but said, "There's also a film adaptation that you Moscow and see."

I'm not saying that my Mum is set in her ways, but when I got her hooked up to the internet the first thing she looked up was teletext.

My asian girlfriend made me to get my poem about down syndrome sufferers published.
She loved me mong rhyme...

Just been using the Zoosk dating app on facebook and having looked at some of the profile pictures i have to say the name is quite appropriate.

I can't believe that out of my 378 so-called 'friends' on facebook, only 12 said Happy Birthday to me today.
Really, what do I pay these people for?

Every time I get sick, I always manage to use the internet to diagnose myself
And convince myself I'm dying.

I remember the good ole days before Facebook, when deleting friends meant having to go round their house and murder them.

I deleted my Facebook account the other day.
I immediately thought, "if only there was a quick way to share what I just did with my friends."

Amazing, isn't it? Of all the Chinese people on Chatroulette, I keep getting the same one over and over again.

Sickipedia...
The only website which I hover my finger over F5 after opening