Joke Joke

I've just been dumped by my girlfriend and straight away started going out with a girl on the basketball team.
People keep telling me that it's just a rebound thing.

Joke Joke

On hearing about the Ethiopian Air crash in the middle east,my wife turned to me and said "Thats awful,you would automatically think its a terrorist attack wouldnt you?"
I replied " No, i automatically try to think of a new joke to post on Sickipedia!"
On the sofa again tonight!
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Well, make it worth your while and actually tell us a joke, then...

Joke Joke

What have white women and Neapolitan ice cream got in common?
They both have a small White strip between the pink and the brown.

Joke Joke

I guess "stop, drop and roll" doesn't apply when you're on a beach off the Gulf of Mexico...

Joke Joke

Today is a national day of mourning in America.
However, if you're from the Middle East it's a national holiday.

Joke Joke

I got drunk last night. Mind you, thats what I get for sitting in a cup of tea.

Joke Joke

I've just seen Bob Holness working in my local DVD rental store.
And that's blockbusters!

Joke Joke

I thought of a Joke about Wind coming into my house through an open window.
but I had just posted a joke minutes before.
So I saved it as a draught

Joke Joke

I was having great fun this weekend, teaching our three year old how to catch.
As usual, the wife spoiled it by taking away my medicine ball.

Joke Joke

It says 'recyclable items only' on our wheelie bin,so i put our kids new bike in it.

Joke Joke

I was super gluing my model airplane together when i got a blob of the glue on the palm of my hand,i then put my hand down onto a copy of my memoirs............ That's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Joke Joke

I applied for the TV show Idle Idol - to find Britain's laziest person.
I failed on application.

Joke Joke

If, in your relationship, you continue to hear, "You're smothering me", then you're probably not holding the pillow down tight enough!

Joke Joke

I went to a DIY house improvements convention today and the after party was great.
They totally raised the roof.

Joke Joke

3 drunk guys boarded a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he decided to take advantage of them. He started the engine and turned it off again.
He told them, "We've reached our destination."
The first guy paid him the cab fare, and the second guy said, "Thank you."
The third guy gave the driver a slap. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk guy knew what he did. But he asked. "What was that for?"
The third guy replied. "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us!"

Joke Joke

What do you call a travelling potato?
Chipsy

Joke Joke

Whats got 6 teeth and 44 legs??
The crisis loan queue!

Joke Joke

Just planted a few bulbs.
Gonna have my own solar plant!

Joke Joke

My mates keep telling me that if I keep believing everything they keep saying to me, my brain will explode.
So now I accuse them of lying, just in case.

Joke Joke

BBC NEWS: Internet racism pair lose appeal.
"Two men have lost their appeals against the UK's first conviction for inciting racial hatred via a foreign website."
Looks like Sickipedia is gonna be two members down.

Joke Joke

Dating Advert:
Midget very kind and nice
to put it short and sweet.

Joke Joke

What's black and looks good on my wife?
The bin liners I've just wrapped her battered corpse in.

Joke Joke

head boy is a prestigous award given to gifted students, head girl is an order.

Joke Joke

New Wiliksons Sword hydro razor with water activated gel molecules.
Maybe, just maybe, the water you feel from the 'water activated gel molecules' is the very same water needed to activate them.

Joke Joke

Someone has just come up to me while I was eating and said "you are what you eat". I wouldn't normally pay any attention to it but I was eating Jamaican ginger cake at the time and I'm not taking that sort of risk.