I wish I knew the Morse Code for the letter S...
Just saw this joke:
Statistically 9/10 of the jokes on here have been copied.
I would just like to add that;
statistically 9/10 of the jokes on here have been copied.
Spelling yllistsuj backwards is just silly
Two cannibals are eating a Sickipedian.... one says to the other... well this is tasteless.
I was at the fairground with the wife,
in the hall of mirrors when she said
"This one makes me look fat, ugly and bloated"
I didn't realise they put normal mirrors in there too.
A man approaches the circus manager and tells him about his act.
"I drink two litres of petrol, strap ten bars of dynamite around my waist, hold a grenade in each hand, climb into a cardboard box and then finally set fire to myself."
"Wow! That's amazing," says the manager. "Could you please demonstrate it for me?"
The man replies, "better not, I can only do it once."
Anyone else think Derren Brown should hypnotize the McCanns to find out where they hid Madeleine
My mate and I were sniffing cocaine off of a newspaper last night, and rather ironically the page we were snorting from was an editorial about the dangers casual drug use.
I thought it was more than sheer coincidence, but I suppose you could say I was reading between the lines
My long-term girlfriend should know by now how much I like jokes and tricks...
So if she actually turns up at church wearing a wedding dress on April 1st, more fool her.
Lawyer: "You seem to be quite a bit smarter than the average witness from your background."
Witness: "Why thank You. I wish I wasn't under Oath so I could return the compliment!"
Nottingham is the gun capital of the UK.
If you ask me, they need a sheriff.
My wife said, "Come on now... It's not the first time you've been premature is it?"
"I know," I replied, "But I just get over excited sometimes.. I can't help it."
"Right.. Let's sort this out. I'll get the decorations down and you put the Christmas tree back in the attic until December."
Lost in the desert for three days, a man suddenly hears, "Mush!"
Looking up, he sees what he thinks is a mirage: an Eskimo on a sled, driving a team of huskies. To his surprise, the sledge comes to a stop at his feet seconds later.
"I don't know why you're here, but thank goodness," the man says. "I've been lost for days."
Panting, the Eskimo replies, "You think you're lost?"
You know you're a bit of a loser when you resort to posting jokes on here using your mobile phone on the way to work.
Sent from my iPhone by O2.
I've just developed the superpower to turn invisible when no one is looking at me.
A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
Beaver 1: "The river has flooded....The cascading water is ruining all of our homes!"
Beaver 2: "Dammit!"
Every time someone say's 'Expect the unexpected' I like to punch them in the face,
Just to check....
A donkey walks into a bar.
"Where's the horse?" asks the barman.
"Recession," says the donkey.
Took my dog to the vets this morning and he told me it's in heat.
I didn't even realise it was a celebrity.
Whats the difference between a Sickipedia user and a stand up comedian?
The stand up comedian hopes that one day, he'll get discovered.
I compared a modern calculus textbook to one my dad had today, and its amazing how little has changed!
I couldn't differentiate between them...
Kid I knew in school had an extra finger on each hand.
He was digitally enhanced.
My unemployment joke needs some work.
The Weight Watchers website requires you to have cookies disabled.