Joke Joke

Came downstairs Sunday morning and the wife was doing breakfast in her slippers
I thought, must save up and get a pan

Joke Joke

10,000 pubs have disappeared in the UK since the smoking ban.
Well if there's no smoke, it must have all been done with mirrors.

Joke Joke

I was walking through town yesterday when a bloke asked me if I wanted a balloon for my daughter.
I said, "No, but you can have her for your watch."

Joke Joke

I went out with one of Sickipedia's top users last night.
I said to him; "Give us your best gag then."
So he wrapped my entire head in gaffa tape!

Joke Joke

WHERE IS THE NEAREST LIBRARY TO THE ERSKINE BRIDGE?
It may be the only library on earth that hands out the book we have all been looking for.

Joke Joke

British Taxi Driver 12 - 10 Israeli Commando Force
Match abandoned due to suicide.
Pools panel result - Home win.

Joke Joke

I don't know if you have ever read 'The Killing Joke' by Anthony Horowitz but essentially the book is about a man who after hearing a sick joke becomes obsessed by it and begins a long journey to discover its origin.
Could have saved him two weeks of his life by saying www.sickipedia.org

Joke Joke

Seen today in Dewsbury Moor felt-penned in large letters over a non-functioning toilet bowl somewhat overflowing with solids:
"WHO SAYS THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH?"

Joke Joke

My nephew convinced my mother-in-law that the "L" hand sign on the forehead meant "I love you".
I just can't bring myself to ruin his joke.

Joke Joke

Sky News: E-mails sent to Firm's Dublin's offices asking them to "rate female workers".
They think that's bad, wait to they find out about the typo.

Joke Joke

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on how to fake your own death.
The librarian says; "Sorry, Im afraid it was checked out on the 25th of June by a monkey and we havent seen it since."

Joke Joke

Well it looks like if we want a new server we're going to have to buy our own jokes back in book and t-shirt form.

Joke Joke

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Librarian walk into a bar.
The barman looks at the Librarian and says, "I think you're in the wrong joke!"

Joke Joke

A dog goes into a bar, walks up to the barman and says "alright mate, pint please."
The barman says "WOW! That's amazing! Stay there, I have to show you to my friend."
The dog replies "Why, does he need a plumber?"

Joke Joke

Man walks into Library and asks for a book on Anti-perspirant.
Librarian says ''Sure''

Joke Joke

I wonder if mothers make 'Your son' jokes?

Joke Joke

Pirates used to be intimidating until they entered the DVD-copying business.

Joke Joke

I was in the pub last night. An arms dealer I know was sat at the bar, when, in walked a thalidomide.
I thought, "Can't wait for these two to get into a conversation."

Joke Joke

I think a plane propeller is only there to keep the pilot cool.
Want proof? Stop the propeller and watch the pilot start to sweat.

Joke Joke

I was given tablets to help me stop being immature.
The packet said "69 tablets for oral use only."
I'm still immature.

Joke Joke

I think I have spent too much time on this site.
I wasn't on time for a meeting today and when I got there I apologised for my latency

Joke Joke

My motto is 'Never explain, Never apologize'
I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

Joke Joke

I've just had a slogan for long-life low energy lightbulbs accepted by an advertising agency:
"They'll blow as often as your wife does"

Joke Joke

BBC news: "Man killed by overturned lorry, carrying thousands of swiss watches"
Bad times...

Joke Joke

The Sickipedia home page is a lot like people from around the world.
On the western side, they are witty and intelligent but there aren't many, whereas in eastern side, they are churning out new ones every second and wanting to move west.