Sayings Joke

From time to time I like to bend my wife over in front of me and take her from behind, but she rarely agrees to it.
Sometimes I just need to twist her arm into it.

Sayings Joke

Two rites do make a wrong where bigamy is concerned.

Sayings Joke

Went to Mars on holiday last week and painted the town red.
Couldn't find it again after that.

Sayings Joke

I just smashed my geography teachers antique globe and she started crying.
Apparently, it was her whole world.

Sayings Joke

'A little knowledge is dangerous thing'.
Explains why so many taxi drivers turn out to be murderers and rapists.

Sayings Joke

Typical necrophilliacs.
Always digging up the past.

Sayings Joke

Last month was the worst ever for my pogo stick business.
Hope we can bounce back this month.

Sayings Joke

The phrase it's as easy as taking candy from a baby is not true as there's normally parents there to stop you
So let's just change It to it's as easy as taking a child from a hotel room in Portugal

Sayings Joke

I went to a seminar about building temporary roads.
Made my own way home

Sayings Joke

Angular momentum makes my world go 'round.

Sayings Joke

"If I don't laugh I'll cry!"
Thank you, whoever penned that little gem, got me through my mother-in-laws funeral.

Sayings Joke

There is a crazed, murderous doctor on the loose.
I'm eating an apple a day.

Sayings Joke

Breaking News -
'Over 100 Die In Kenyan Pipeline Explosion'
A full report is in the, erm, pipeline...

Sayings Joke

If you can make just one person's day a little brighter... you're probably not a very good electrician.

Sayings Joke

They used to say that great story telling was to start at the end.
Once upon a time.

Sayings Joke

Sticks and stones may break my bones.
So, please don't hit me with sticks and stones.

Sayings Joke

30 days in September, April, June and November.
No it's not. It's 120.

Sayings Joke

When horses get really hungry do they try and keep their distance from each other?

Sayings Joke

"Beauty is only skin deep!"....
One of the many reasons not to get with a wog.

Sayings Joke

What shape does a pear go when it all goes wrong?

Sayings Joke

Put your money where your mouth is?
I'll stick to my wallet, mate.

Sayings Joke

Women around the world are waking up to the dangers of Rohypnol.

Sayings Joke

My friend said that you should always judge a man by the contents of his heart, not by the colour of his skin.
It still ended up with the same result though; me cutting up lots of black people.

Sayings Joke

A wise man once said, "What's for you will never go past you."
He obviously didn't travel with Firstbus, then.

Sayings Joke

Vanity is a sin.
Whoever invented vanity should take a good look in the mirror.