Puns Joke

BBC news: 'Turkey to appoint military chiefs'
I think it might be planning a coup

Puns Joke

I was in tears when my cat had to be put down. I looked into his wide eyes and whispered in his ear; "I love you Piddles, never forget that."
I then put him down in his basket and got a few questionable looks from my family as I plodded off into the kitchen.

Puns Joke

Controversy as Alton Towers set to hold another 'Muslims only' day.
It's a Paki jolly day.

Puns Joke

I let milk get away with so much. Im lactose tolerant.

Puns Joke

I'm addicted to frozen poultry.
Think I might have to go cold turkey.

Puns Joke

Stethoscopes are not for the feint-hearted.

Puns Joke

Knowledgeable, intelligent, sapient and clever.
Those are some wise words.

Puns Joke

I'm a crossdresser.
I get angry when i put on a jumper.

Puns Joke

For some strange reason, whenever I pressed my door-bell I received an electric shock.
I couldn't put my finger on it.

Puns Joke

I was on the bus, and I saw a sign which read "Please place your litter in the plastic bags provided".
Anyway, now the RSPCA are after me for "Suffocating cats"

Puns Joke

My teacher told me I use far too much hyperbole in my in my work.
I personally think she is exaggerating....

Puns Joke

Can you picture a world without impossible visualised situations?

Puns Joke

I just got back from the Hospital, I had to have an operation to remove a Tumor from my brain.
I have to say it's a load off my mind.

Puns Joke

I don't mind trigonometry problems.
Normally only takes me a few secs.

Puns Joke

Just bought a block of cheddar...it's destined for grateness!

Puns Joke

The wife's been moaning about the body parts all over the house from my mail order Frankenstein kit. I've told her I'd finish it but after what the dog ate,
I don't think I've the heart for it anymore.

Puns Joke

Why were 3 Asian university students recently arrested?
For running a math lab.

Puns Joke

I'm not a big fan of change.
I'd rather have a tenner, to be honest.

Puns Joke

Have you ever stepped on an oscillator? It hertz.

Puns Joke

I can't stop thinking about prisons....
My mind works in Strangeways.

Puns Joke

What do you get if you cross Time Vine and Amir Khan?.
A Punjabbi

Puns Joke

My car just broke down.
I told it not to get too emotional.

Puns Joke

Postman falls into coma...
Letters pray.

Puns Joke

For a plumber, a flush beats a full house.

Puns Joke

My wife bought me an extremely tall lamp from the shops, it was the highlight of my day.