I always buy computers that are black. Generally, they run faster and have a bigger hard drive.

So how come Robinson's sponsor tennis and not squash?

My boss accused me of not forwarding an email her way.
I resent that.

Ordered some stuff online the other day & I used my donor card instead of my debit card.
Cost me an arm and a leg.

My wife was stressed out earlier, so I decapitated her.
Hope that took the weight off her shoulders

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn't know what to make of it.

I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves.

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?
Find out after the break.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

Past, Present and Future walked into a Bar
It was tense.