One Liners Joke

My girlfriend's definitely going to leave me because of my pessimism.

One Liners Joke

The next greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist, blindfold!

One Liners Joke

Who fancies a contest to see who can get banned from Britology.com the quickest?

One Liners Joke

You know you've got a problem when your second kid starts walking before your first.

One Liners Joke

A true friend stabs you in the front.

One Liners Joke

Anyone else find it ironic that it's Hans Christian rsted's birthday.

One Liners Joke

How long do you have to be on failblog before life simply becomes "abortion fail?"

One Liners Joke

I saw a book the other day by the famous British historian Guy Chapman, or as his friends liked to call him, Person Person Person.

One Liners Joke

Who else knows when they've been beaten?
Then gets up and wipes.

One Liners Joke

The BRIT Awards - More mime's than Covent Garden

One Liners Joke

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

One Liners Joke

I once applied to be a male stripper.
They put me on their shortlist

One Liners Joke

Rhubarb is for fools.

One Liners Joke

Ive got that many train sets I've lost track.

One Liners Joke

I use to work in a glue factory but i didnt stick with it

One Liners Joke

I've got a lovely recipe for a fish stew made with pollock and dog fish. It's the dog's pollocks.

One Liners Joke

There's no getting away from it, stalking's here to stay.

One Liners Joke

Wonder if there's a euphemism for a 'euphemism'?

One Liners Joke

You'll be hard pressed getting me to watch The Iron Lady.

One Liners Joke

Until they invented the other side of velcro, it never caught on.

One Liners Joke

Girls that are afraid of the dark.
That's a turn off.

One Liners Joke

I was a whisker away from winning 'Beard of the Year' recently.

One Liners Joke

I was giving blood at my local health centre the other day when in walked an Orc
"Are you giving blood as well?" I asked
"No" he replied "...I've got too much Haemogoblin"

One Liners Joke

When chemists do it, they do it on a table... Periodically.

One Liners Joke

Lesbians are just in it for the the crack