Just heard a joke about a Milkman.
Must be doing the rounds at the moment.

How does a woman scare a Gynaecologist?
By becoming a Ventriloquist.

McDonald's: Making children easier to catch for three generations.

I drove over a woman the other day, then I thought to myself "it couldn't of been a woman", I wasn't in the kitchen.

Say what you like about katie Price, but she has done wonders for the comedy business.

I don't mind being a child's toy, its just when people twist the key in my back, it really winds me up

My wife just called me a liar, in front of the judge!
Well she's not my wife, just a girl I followed one Friday night through the park.

China: There are very few countries where you can whistle and your dinner will come to you.

Instead of a blanket ban on smoking in this country, the government should criminalise tobacco and legalise cannabis then no one will care if anyone is smoking.

I love having unique views in life, but it seems that I am the only one

how can you spot a blindman in a nudist camp?
it aint hard!

Racism drives me bananas

I woke up at dawn once.
That was my earliest memory...

You can always find loads of birds in seedy places.

Philanderers: wear shirts with lipstick-coloured collars.

Having a male gynaecologist is like going to an auto mechanic who doesn't own a car.

It must've been a good night... A poster that says "Say No To Crack" reminded me to pull up my knickers.

Watching the gadget show on Dave is like watching the history channel for current affairs.

You know you're getting older when...."happy hour"...... is a nap.

152 years ago today Darwin's Theory of Evolution was published - We've come a long way since then.

An i for an i makes everything -1.

What do you call someone from Norwich who has no brother's or sisters?
A virgin.

My wife told me that she is leaving me due to my obsession with the Olympics.
I told her i'm sure we'll overcome this hurdle together and get our marriage back on track

I couldn't believe it when my wife said I doubt everything she says.

When asked which 'Superpower' I would have, invisibility is the clear choice.