Girls mature faster than boys. 12 is the new 20.

I wonder how American muslims get through Ramadan?

Whenever I meet someone for the first time I always talk about an obese woman walking on a frozen lake...
That usually breaks the ice.

Logik states that you have a cheap television.

The Dead Kennedys.....REUNITED!!!!

A white woman breaking the window of a black man's car and dragging him out....Did I wake up in bizarro land? Is up now down?

My math teacher was teaching us about sine and cosine, but then he started going off on a tangent.

My girlfriend complained at length about my Right-wing views. So I simply went and sat on the other side of the plane.

BREAKING NEWS: Blackpool fined 25,000 for fielding an understrength side against Aston Villa.
IN OTHER NEWS: West Ham fined 1,000,000 for fielding an understrength side all season.

If you have any gloves you don't want, I'll take them off your hands.

I'm an Air France Airbus A330 and I'm in PCs

I went in the chemist the other day and asked the girl for a packet of Pyrex. " Dont you mean Durex ?" she said...." no I've got some hot stuff waiting in the car"

I can think of nothing better than getting your Sickipedia joke turned into a Facebook group.....

Welcome back, TheCrossBowCannibal - would you like to hide a heinous crime?

A plane crash is no laughing matter.
On other websites.

In order to boost sales I have decided to open up a KFC next door to the Job Centre.

I once took a Penalty in the Fog and Mist.

Why is there so much month left at the end of my money?

It's rude to talk while I'm interrupting.

Do you think Roadrunner would have been so elusive if ACME had built IEDs?

I was out walking the dog earlier. Although she prefers me to introduce her as "my wife"

Does the dead hooker in my shed count as a garden hoe?

Would you still vote for jokes if you knew Jim Davidson posted them?

If there is one place I can't stand !!.. It's on a slippery surface.

You know its gone wrong when the tissue is red..