One Liners Joke

Just been on google and searched 'free heroin.'
Got a few hits.

One Liners Joke

I thought that my wife might have an offset ring spanner in her handbag...
My suspicions were confirmed when I found an offset ring spanner in her handbag...

One Liners Joke

If they dont want you to drink n drive , why put car parks in pubs ??

One Liners Joke

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

One Liners Joke

I read a joke about window shopping the other day. I didnt get it.

One Liners Joke

If I had a pound for every time I lost count of something, I'd have...

One Liners Joke

A problem shared, is a problem laughed at.

One Liners Joke

What's black and unmistakably round?
.

One Liners Joke

My mum doesn't see the irony in saying 'Your mum' to me as an insult.

One Liners Joke

Nudism: Been there, done that, took off the t-shirt.

One Liners Joke

I've just found out that my next door neighbours cat is the same width as one of my tyres.

One Liners Joke

I said to my mate the other day;
"My brother met a famous black rapper yesterday."
My mate replied;
"Did he?"
"No, it was Jay-Z."

One Liners Joke

The first half of lolita is hilarious.

One Liners Joke

Tomorrow the wife goes for a twenty week scan.
That's brilliant. I won't see her again until March 30th, 2012.

One Liners Joke

Tennis is like riding a bike.
If you hit a car then you know something has gone wrong.

One Liners Joke

The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.

One Liners Joke

BBC News headline: Working mothers' children "less fit".
Isn't attractiveness subjective?

One Liners Joke

Sky News : 'Police Probe Bodies Found in House'
Also known as poking them with a stick

One Liners Joke

Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad.

One Liners Joke

When women say "I'm not talking to you", what exactly are they doing then?

One Liners Joke

If there's one thing this week has taught us, it's that Italians have better aim than Iraqis.

One Liners Joke

What men want in a relationship is to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

One Liners Joke

I recently discovered that the leading cause of nose bleeds in the U.K. is a punch to the face.

One Liners Joke

I like really dark movie theatres.
That way, I don't have to buy my own popcorn.

One Liners Joke

I can't see myself not owning a mirror.