Dead women never say no.....
Dont you just hate it when you slam your computer monitor down thinking that you're on a laptop...
Territorial Army: Part time soldiers, full time banging on about it!
Should we tell the person who invented the number "0" thanks for nothing?
Thanks to Gwen Stefani, I can now spell Bananas.
After being under house arrest for the past 21 years, Aung San Suu Kyi has said she'd like a quiet night in following her release
Living in a country where obesity is on the rise and skinny jeans are becoming a fad, I fear for the future.
My son was crushed by a falling Lego tower..
He didn't make it.
"I'm so manly that even my sentences don't have periods"
I should hope not. This is England and they're called full stops.
When originally entered, the joke was:
I love oxymorons, but I despise contradictory statements.
Black clowns, for those dark humour fans.
If you catch swine flu and a man flu at the same time, does it make you a chauvinistic pig?
Stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewhere
A synanym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.
Sign language: it's very handy
There's only one down side to having a stroke.
I once sat and listened to the darkness for a whole hour. Then I thought "Hmm, maybe I should put some music on".
Great news for BlackBerry users: a solution has been emailed to you.
Dont drink and drive, take LSD and teleport
The grenade factory is the one place where being able to hear a pin drop is a bad thing
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make a plane.
Ever notice that life is just a series of distractions designed to get you out of bed?
I find numbers very reliable.
I can always count on them.
When you think society has rejected you and you're alone, you come across sickipedia!