Where's the best place to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow!
I hate people who are indirect, you know who you are.
I've had a spectacular day.
It was in 1997, I think.
Recent evidence shows that Princess Dianas' driver was on drugs at the time of the crash.
Speed and Smack.
baby killed by lamp post falling on top of pram.
At the time the Mother was asking for a light.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Sky News "US woman to be executed with IQ between 70 and 72"
I crawled into my exam today.
I was told to take a different approach.
And the 1,678,743'rd rule of monotony club is ......
Alcohol killed my Dad.
He was run over by a Carlsberg Lorry.
In an ideal world, I'd work in a casino.
sky news confirm fred west's brother john was a serial salmon killer
I think it goes without saying...
Left my job at the Fat Fighters monthly magazine when they made my weight an issue.
I was so poor as a child.
My Shoes were that worn that i could throw a Penny on the Floor, and then put my Foot over it and be able to tell whether it was Heads or Tails.
Doorbells. There's a nice ring to them.
My hatred for my wife is like a horse's foreskin...
It goes back a long way.
You know you're in a rough pub when they've got the Racing Channel on.
I have just seen an ad watching football
Abu Dhabi - Travellers welcome
Well you can have them all, nice to know they're accepted somewhere
Swallowed a couple of Es at University.
Apparently that makes me a 'bad loser' at Scrabble.
Moose knuckle. The ugly cousin of camel toe
Finally, a Palin family member who knew when to pull out.
I'm not arrogant im just genuinely better.
I don't know what I'd like to be more... a music teacher or a 15 Year old girl.
Did anybody else know about this live performance of 'Green Street'?