Wordplay Joke

So, a 6 year old boy has flown away in an experimental aircraft?
I imagine he'll be grounded soon.

Wordplay Joke

I was gonna tell a joke about a silver nugget, a lump of iron and piece of coal walking into a bar,
But it's Ore-full

Wordplay Joke

The Daily Star headline :
"Brit soldiers put Taliban in a jam"
Wow, I would buy that!

Wordplay Joke

Why is it that if I say to my wife, "Wow, you look good enough to eat!" she considers it to be a good thing, but if I see what she's cooked for dinner and say "Well, it's good enough to eat" I get a slap?

Wordplay Joke

You know what I can't get my head around?
Railings.

Wordplay Joke

My wife choked to death while chewing on gum.
Ironically, Airwaves got stuck in her throat.

Wordplay Joke

I nicked some copper wire last night.
The local bobby was furious he couldn't turn his lights on.

Wordplay Joke

Architects and politicians say windows are better than walls.
Clearly they have not eaten sausages while trying to load vista.

Wordplay Joke

I have found a freephone number for talking filth.
999

Wordplay Joke

Went to my local night club and threw a football at some people on the dance floor,
it kicked right off

Wordplay Joke

Has anyone ever seen a sumo in a casino?
Fat chance.

Wordplay Joke

I was performing in Mary Poppins in a West End Musical last night and I had to sing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious".
Not many people can say that.

Wordplay Joke

All these magicians you see on TV have got nowt on me.
I can turn my van into a street.

Wordplay Joke

Panasonic, a company from the makers of pearl harbour.

Wordplay Joke

I got myself one of those Hummers today.
Or big stinking American bird as I call her.

Wordplay Joke

I took my eye off the ball today.
A quick re-arrangement in my pants and everything was back to normal.

Wordplay Joke

I was chatting up a bird in the pub last night.
She said, "Do you know what I hate?"
I said, "No, what?"
She said, "Blokes like you".
I said, "I can't help that, perhaps they think I'm a nice guy".

Wordplay Joke

I started seeing this girl from work.Doctors say it's a very rare occurrence for a blind man.

Wordplay Joke

Where do Indian children buy bodily fluids?
The sweatshop

Wordplay Joke

I found out today that don't like cliche's... I guess you learn something new every day.

Wordplay Joke

Apparently, my mate Lee has started doing drugs.
I'm not sure if I believe it.
It's highly unlikely...

Wordplay Joke

I've just bought this new glue that dries super quickly.
I think it might contain Shergar.

Wordplay Joke

Our local Neighbourhood Watch is so annoying.
It has a loud ring that wakes me up at early hours of the day.

Wordplay Joke

I wanted to join the Navy when I left school but that ship has now sailed.

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend's family is loaded. I just hope they don't turn their guns on me.