Wordplay Joke

I was offered a job in Jamaica for six weeks. Tempting.

Wordplay Joke

Just got engaged to a pencil. Can't wait to introduce everyone to my wife 2B.

Wordplay Joke

Mannequins are model citizens

Wordplay Joke

I got my results back from my last maths exam. I only got one question wrong. Apparently the compliment to a 30 degree angle is not:
You're looking acute today.

Wordplay Joke

I've just bought an award winning dog, which just goes to show...

Wordplay Joke

My inquisitive cat died.
Curious.

Wordplay Joke

My mate's a Scottish Rasta and he can't swim.
He dreads lochs.

Wordplay Joke

My mate was telling me last night that his racing dog went lame and had to be put down.
I said, "Whippet?"
He said, "No, I think they just used some drugs to put it to sleep."

Wordplay Joke

I've submitted a quote to completely refurbish Gracelands.
I don't know if I'll win the contract but they did love me tender.

Wordplay Joke

I've lost so many bits of Scalextric.
I just can't keep track.

Wordplay Joke

I trapped off with this old bird last night at the club, who said she owned a new Penthouse.
Imagine my disappointment when we arrived back at her place, to find it was the exact same copy I've already got.

Wordplay Joke

God gave me the perfect gift last night; a small white stick with a flammable red tip.
It was a match made in heaven.

Wordplay Joke

I came accross 6 armed buddahs. Aren't they supposed to be gods of peace?

Wordplay Joke

I know a jazz musician, everyone calls him "Soul King"
Because all he does is mope.

Wordplay Joke

I don't know about you....
Mainly as I was told never to talk to strangers.

Wordplay Joke

The wife left me because of my James Brown addiction
I feel good.

Wordplay Joke

What do you get if you cover someone called Clare in chocolate?
A chocolatey Clare.

Wordplay Joke

After a shake up at work I soon found my self on the managerial merry go round,
I must work at the most boring theme park in the world.

Wordplay Joke

My son has been really reckless with the hot air balloon I bought for his birthday,
So he's grounded for 2 weeks.

Wordplay Joke

Student:`Love a beer over here barman.'
Barman: `I.d. first'
Student:`I'd love a beer over here barman.'

Wordplay Joke

Lost your keys? locked outside? Looks like i'm going to have to smash your back doors in...

Wordplay Joke

Sorry, I'd drafted up a joke about Bromine and Boron but must've left it on the kitchen table.
BrB.

Wordplay Joke

They say there is strength in numbers...
Try telling that to 93 norwegian teenagers

Wordplay Joke

If my memory serves me well, I find myself wishing it wouldn't.

Wordplay Joke

I am not the least bit surprised about the death of Zyzz we all knew it was going to happen sauna or later.