Wordplay Joke

Me and my mate are constantly fighting over who's silkworm is the best so tonight we're gonna have a spin off.

Wordplay Joke

I lost my mobile so I retraced my steps.
It didn't help, I ran out of paper half way up.

Wordplay Joke

Why do Moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they're a little meteor.

Wordplay Joke

I went round Mark Knopfler's house the other day, and I was stood admiring a painting on his wall. He told me if I liked it that much then I could keep it!
Amazing that
Monet for Nothing

Wordplay Joke

I decided to return some swimming shorts today...
They must be broken, they only floated when I put them in some water.

Wordplay Joke

My pet octopus has given birth. It was a surprise as we didn't even know she was pregnant.
But we had an inkling.

Wordplay Joke

I got a tattoo of an anchor on my chest today.
I just love Andy Gray's sense of humor.

Wordplay Joke

I like my girls with nothing on but the hoover.

Wordplay Joke

I held up a bank today.
It was heavy

Wordplay Joke

Charades isn't what it's made out to be

Wordplay Joke

Don't know what all the fuss is about, now i've turned fifty
my wiki leaks every night

Wordplay Joke

I can't believe it. My first day working as a Santa and they gave me the sack.

Wordplay Joke

Change the way you feel................use the backs of your fingers

Wordplay Joke

What would you rather be...
Or a wasp?

Wordplay Joke

I was dragging my son around Asda earlier.
I started with a dress, then finished on the make-up.

Wordplay Joke

The butcher in Derby has just brought out a new product,
Stuffed ram.

Wordplay Joke

Laughing gas.....
I thought something smelt funny

Wordplay Joke

I've started dating a young female photographer. Its early days yet so let's see what develops.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News: Homeless man murdered by Gang at a bustop.
Poor guy.

Wordplay Joke

I was told it was traditional to wet the babys head by having a few beers.
Little lightweight puked on his first pint.

Wordplay Joke

Two Pheasants are having a chat. One says "fancy being chased into the sky by dogs and then being shot at?" the other says "Only if you're game".

Wordplay Joke

My wife has told me to stop taking everything literally.
She can talk.

Wordplay Joke

I thought that the moon may have be a nice place to visit, but it lacks atmosphere.

Wordplay Joke

I was thrown off a Ryanair flight today.
I think they've taken these cut-backs a bit too far.

Wordplay Joke

When i was on holiday i thought about getting my mate a souvenir made of a blue adhesive material.
But i decided against it as i thought it was a bit tacky.