Wordplay Joke

Putting the first letters of footballers names on their training tops was my initial idea.

Wordplay Joke

'Brokeback Mountain voted best On-Screen Love Affair'
I cried when I watched it. It looked painful.

Wordplay Joke

Why, I thought to myself, is the letter before Z.

Wordplay Joke

I met a black man today. He said to me his name was Martin Luther King.
'Really'? I asked
'No I'm only Joe King'

Wordplay Joke

A couple of Mexican wrestlers barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath.
I tried to help, but I could only knock juan out.

Wordplay Joke

I recently signed up for a website dedicated to science calculators.
It won't let me Log In.

Wordplay Joke

I wanted to take the trash out the other night but she said she was feeling ill.

Wordplay Joke

My wife has just lost a stone,
It'll be a great loss to her rock collection.

Wordplay Joke

A,U! Wanna hear a joke about gold?

Wordplay Joke

You think you're going to say something that can make me laugh?
You must be joking.

Wordplay Joke

"Honey, I've been a very naughty boy."
It was by far the worst possible way to learn of my wife's turbulent past.

Wordplay Joke

As a child I was raised by my Nan...
She was brilliant at poker.

Wordplay Joke

My mother would always say that she envisioned that I would grow up to be a famous actor, receiving awards and recognition all the time.
Not long later, I shouted proudly - "This is for you mum!"
As I gave her the Big Mac Meal from behind the counter at McDonalds.

Wordplay Joke

My mother would always say that she envisioned that I would grow up to be a famous actor, receiving awards and recognition all the time.
Not long later, I shouted proudly - "This is for you mum!"
As I gave her the Big Mac Meal from behind the counter at McDonalds.

Wordplay Joke

my wife, my daughter, my son, my mother, my father, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law have all left me due to my
obsession with Bingo
I'm glad they did anyway, it was a full house.

Wordplay Joke

I was shocked when I found out my friend who's part African, Asian, Australian, European and American is a racist. He of all people.

Wordplay Joke

I recently fell into some money. Unfortunately it was only 5 pounds, so I broke my nose

Wordplay Joke

My goal before the end of next month is to fix my camera
Now that's something to focus on.

Wordplay Joke

Do dyslexic Yorkshiremen wear catflaps?

Wordplay Joke

This turban makes me Sikh.

Wordplay Joke

The wife finally drifted off last night......
She was asleep as soon as her head hit the hammer

Wordplay Joke

"Can I have a cup of beef stock, please?" I asked the waiter.
He replied "Sure, let me just boil the cattle."

Wordplay Joke

I was doing a bit of scuba diving on an old German sub wreck.
I wasn't sure what I'd found, so I took parts to the British Maritime Museum.
"Oooh, it's a bit of an enigma," the curator told me.
He obviously wasn't that good at his job, I thought.

Wordplay Joke

I went up to Tony the Tiger yesterday and asked "What do you think of my trainers?" *wink wink*
"They're alright..." He replied.

Wordplay Joke

I always pack a carton in my son's bag...
The kids at his school pay top prices for cigarettes.