Wordplay Joke

I've invented a new beer which I'm gonna call "Knowledge".
It can't fail, cos everyones got a thirst for Knowledge........

Wordplay Joke

Horse killed by it's own children.
Police suspect foal play.

Wordplay Joke

Did you know that John Terry has scored 28 times at the Bridge?
Nah, nor did Wayne..

Wordplay Joke

I went on the Kia website and it had a link to, "Find a dealer".
I'm pleased to see that it's not just me that has a healthy lack of respect for drug-driving laws.

Wordplay Joke

I was given a chance to take the Bomb Disposal Team entrance exam.
I blew it.

Wordplay Joke

I was in court recently and got sentenced to death by hanging.
I thought I found a loophole, but it was just a noose.

Wordplay Joke

Sport Relief is Milarious

Wordplay Joke

I was running naked on the beach for a dare and found a stash of money and drugs.
That was a lucky streak.

Wordplay Joke

No wonder the whole of the Conservative Party look anemic, grey and lifeless.
It must have something to do with standing in the shadow of that cabinet.

Wordplay Joke

My PC wasn't working today
Apparently he got arrested for beating up a woman last year

Wordplay Joke

Being a sickipedian, I can't help but jump on the BariumNeodymiumTungsten Silver Nitrate
or BaNdWAgON as it's also known.

Wordplay Joke

After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

Wordplay Joke

Don't bother checking how Australia are doing in Group D.
There's no point.

Wordplay Joke

I got sacked from my job at the local pet shop.
I got caught with my hand in the trill.

Wordplay Joke

Just discovered a dubious sore. Best go to a doctor before it turns sceptic.

Wordplay Joke

Noel Coward is a celebrated playwright.
His christian name is French for christmas. His surname is French for soldier.

Wordplay Joke

Before Tuesday's emergency budget, being on the dole had its benefits.

Wordplay Joke

My grandmother always feels cold after finishing a chili naan

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend has left me because I constantly kept her on a leash.
She was at the end of her tether.

Wordplay Joke

Just sat here watching the sun set.
I think I'll make a moon jelly next.

Wordplay Joke

My best mate thinks that David Villa will be the World Cup top goalscorer by miles, but I still reckon it could be Klose.

Wordplay Joke

My wife said she's leaving me because she's scared of my violent outbursts.
I said, 'Look, when push comes to shove...'

Wordplay Joke

My wife just came home with a wig in her hands.
I said." Where have you been?"
She said." I just popped out to get some fresh hair."

Wordplay Joke

What do you call a Mexican leaving a hospital?
Manuel

Wordplay Joke

I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.