Wordplay Joke

I love to read the Viz when it comes out, it reduces my erection whilst making me laugh.

Wordplay Joke

I like to make explosions out of pens.
Im a Birotechnic.

Wordplay Joke

Whoever came up with the saying "as clear as a bell" obviously never had genital warts.

Wordplay Joke

If you ask Muslim's what is to blame for the number of times they pray, most will point towards Mecca

Wordplay Joke

My wife says she's leaving me because she's tired of the constant "silly, immature mind games".
I'm devastated.
It was her go at Jumanji, and I can't get rid of the monkeys now.

Wordplay Joke

I was walking to work this morning when someone shouted 'oi granted!'
I hate being taken for granted.

Wordplay Joke

Violence is never justified.
Unless you've typed it into Microsoft Word.

Wordplay Joke

Does anyone know what the song about getting a CD lodged in your skull is called? It's been stuck in my head all day.

Wordplay Joke

I don't think the people in this nudist colony likes me at all.
Maybe it's because I came in my trousers.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News -
'Monaco set for Albert's wedding'
Del Boy and Rodney are yet to confirm attendance...

Wordplay Joke

I cant help but feel that the women's world cup has been nothing but a big miss match.

Wordplay Joke

It's been a week since my parents retired and I have to say their wheelchairs move much faster now.

Wordplay Joke

Never mix steroids with seafood.
Unless you're willing to cook your mussels one by one.

Wordplay Joke

Starting getting the ingredients ready for my 'Mother Nature' cake this morning. 2 earthquakes, 3 volcanic eruptions and a tsunami. Then I stopped and thought 'this is just a recipe for disaster'...

Wordplay Joke

BBC Sport: 'Aussie Stoner on pole in Germany'
Since when did lads tour antics qualify as sport news?

Wordplay Joke

I was telling some friends on the internet about a site that does cheap sausages.
They asked, "Are they any good?"
I said, "Yes, would you like me to send you a link?"

Wordplay Joke

what do you call a female police officer?
A stripper

Wordplay Joke

As my wife took a bite she shrieked, "Ugh, it looks like someone's toe in my pasty."
"Is it Cornish?" I replied.
"No," she answered, "it's more like a bunion."

Wordplay Joke

As my wife took a bite she shrieked, "Ugh, it looks like someone's toe in my pasty."
"Is it Cornish?" I replied.
"No," she answered, "it's more like a bunion."

Wordplay Joke

I hope Im the last guy on earth, I wanna see if all those women were lying to me

Wordplay Joke

I hope Im the last guy on earth, I wanna see if all those women were lying to me

Wordplay Joke

I texted my friend earlier saying, 'I'm having a party for my birthday.'
He replied, 'That's not much information mate, elaborate?'
I said, 'Not really, just a few people round for some beers.'

Wordplay Joke

My wife just said she thinks she's got a nervous tic.
It's got good reason to be nervous, I'm going to bath her with dog shampoo in a minute.

Wordplay Joke

My doctor told me I had problems with my eyesight.
I certainly didn't see that coming.

Wordplay Joke

The thought of people fighting over the last Chocolate Orange is Terry vying.