Wordplay Joke

Do you think people from Norfolk realise the irony that Sister is an anagram of resist?

Wordplay Joke

Every day I do 100 meters.
I hate my job at the electricity company.

Wordplay Joke

Just started work in the Army camouflage unit. I think the guys like me.
They said I'm blending in wonderfully.

Wordplay Joke

I've got a horrendous yeast infestation in my oven at home.
It's a problem on the rise

Wordplay Joke

A bloke walks into a sandwich shop and says "Cheese sandwich please".
The guy behind the counter says "With relish?".
The bloke replies "Why I would just love one of your delicious cheese sandwiches my good man".

Wordplay Joke

My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104.
We called her Aunt Tique.

Wordplay Joke

I tried some mini golf today.
The salesmen at BMW were furious.

Wordplay Joke

I have a friend who lives in south Korea.
She's my 'Seoul Mate'.

Wordplay Joke

Hot air balloon theft. It's on the rise.

Wordplay Joke

I lost the sight in one eye in a fishing accident yesterday. So this morning my missus was sitting next to me flicking her bean. She said, "I bet you don't know what I'm doing?"
I Said, "I have a good eye dear."

Wordplay Joke

I've just come back from a bukakke party in Paris.
The girl got an Eiffel.

Wordplay Joke

Elton John- You can tell everybody this is your son.

Wordplay Joke

I voted for Labour last year.
But my wife still went for the Caesarian in the end.

Wordplay Joke

Neighbours pointed out that Ivy on our roof was getting dangerous. I told them there was nothing I could do.
Once Nan sobered up, she'd stop throwing slates and come down herself.

Wordplay Joke

I think my dog might be a genius.
I just asked him what five minus five is, and he said nothing.

Wordplay Joke

Some men from Iran told me Ankara is the biggest city in Turkey. I reckon that's eastern bull.

Wordplay Joke

I grew up on a farm and I taught myself to ride a horse bareback from an early age.
I would have used condoms but the nearest chemist was five miles away.

Wordplay Joke

I had an exam on smilies today.
I got a :D

Wordplay Joke

I have an imaginary friend. By which I mean I square rooted one of my enemies.

Wordplay Joke

I just told my imaginary friend I'm pregnant.
He said he's made up.

Wordplay Joke

I went to the doctor and told him I'm addicted to Train Spotting.
He told me I was Anoraksic.

Wordplay Joke

I want to write a cutlery joke but I dont know what the fork to say.

Wordplay Joke

I started seeing this new bird recently, shes alright. My mates told me shes known to be mint in bed, only cause shes a bit of a bike.
So i went to town on her.

Wordplay Joke

My Nan just won the National Bush Award at her farm.
Herpeas have never tasted so good.

Wordplay Joke

My Daughter caught me with my trousers down today.
It was a leap of faith but she's suprisingly strong.