Wordplay Joke

Can't believe I just come last in a spelling centost

Wordplay Joke

I know a Paki who doesn't smell.
He has Anosmia, he still stinks though.

Wordplay Joke

I was enjoying a coffee in a country cafe this morning when a posh guy on the table next to me burped loudly.
I said, "Oi mate, where's your manners?"
He said, "Well old chap, I've got one in Hertfordshire and one in Kent."

Wordplay Joke

My friends are currently on holiday in Cuba.
I bet they're Havana good time.

Wordplay Joke

What's black and white and read all over?
I don't know, but it's not News of the World.

Wordplay Joke

I've been peeling ever since I got really sun-burnt on holiday.
If I've got to stay out of the sun I may as well finish my sticker book.

Wordplay Joke

My wife is just like Michael Jackson
Shamone's a lot.

Wordplay Joke

Today I found a clue as to who planted all the ivy in my allotment, but I can't work it out.
Meanwhile, the plot thickens.

Wordplay Joke

I've met this girl but she won't get with me because of my obsession with Blondie....
I'll get her one way or another

Wordplay Joke

Rioters suddenly chased out of largely asian based communities Hounslow and Southall.
Who called The Turbanator?

Wordplay Joke

My friend just invited me to a Welsh soap opera exhibition.
I told him I'd Pobol y Cwm.

Wordplay Joke

I like my women like i like my onions.
Battered, in a ring.

Wordplay Joke

Ive been with my chinese girlfriend over a year now,
I think she might be the wan.

Wordplay Joke

When someone prays for a flood to stop, they're basically saying, "God, dam it."

Wordplay Joke

My mate was desperate for me to go on a booze cruise to France.
It's not something I really Carrefour.

Wordplay Joke

I use the C word constantly

Wordplay Joke

What do you call a desperate Norwegian comedian?
Olaf.

Wordplay Joke

I bought a new carpet cleaner which removes 99% of stains. Ali G isn't happy.

Wordplay Joke

To be, or not to be. (I think you should be.)
That is suggestion.

Wordplay Joke

I've been Sober for 4 years now.
The name John wasn't really working for me.

Wordplay Joke

You know when you've had a long day, you're driving home and nothing is going your way?
It's because you're in the wrong lane...

Wordplay Joke

Did you hear about the depressed runner bean?
He's not a pea.

Wordplay Joke

I came home from work last night to find a copper rooting through my CD rack.
Turns out we'd been burgled and he was just looking for Prince.

Wordplay Joke

I went to dinner with an entire zoo the other day.
Not everyone had money though, and I ended up paying the Lion's share.

Wordplay Joke

If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, should you get rid of the chainsaw?