Wordplay Joke

What do you call that schizophrenic woman down the street?
Jaqueline Hyde.

Wordplay Joke

I dig holes and fill them with water. It's well boring.

Wordplay Joke

My wife is putting on black robes and a white collar...
I think she's getting revved up.

Wordplay Joke

Really excited about moving into a detached house. I've already got a semi.

Wordplay Joke

I've drawn a self potrait in ultra violet ink
Now people see me in a different light

Wordplay Joke

I just got a job in the web design team for the Italian power company: Powergen. First thing we need to think of is a domain name that will be suitable.
It took a while but we finally thought of one and Powergenitalia.com will be up and running in no time.

Wordplay Joke

My wife just said she loves French sticks.
At least I hope that's what she said.

Wordplay Joke

Ever since I've started working at the resistor factory my colleagues have really helped me feel at ohm.

Wordplay Joke

Some people will never change.
Like a nun, same clothes everyday.

Wordplay Joke

For sale: clocks with half a face.
For a limited time only.

Wordplay Joke

I used to have a Fox and an Ox, but now only have an Ox due to the fact I lost my F'in Fox.

Wordplay Joke

It was my birthday last night and all drinks were on the house.
I stayed sober because i'm scared of heights.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News : Pension age could rise from 2016....
I think that's old enough to be honest.

Wordplay Joke

As I drove down a country road I saw a sign that said "left to Bradford," I thought "what a turn off."

Wordplay Joke

My wife has asked me to "stop always getting the last word in".
I'm doing quite well, but now none of my sentences make any.

Wordplay Joke

My wife asked 'I dont understand double entendres, can you please fill me in?'

Wordplay Joke

A brain and a battery walk into a pub and ask for two pints. Barman refuses service, Brain asks "why?!" Bartender replies "you're already out of your head, and I'm afraid he might start something"

Wordplay Joke

A brain and a battery walk into a pub and ask for two pints. Barman refuses service, Brain asks "why?!" Bartender replies "you're already out of your head, and I'm afraid he might start something"

Wordplay Joke

Seal has today announced that he is divorcing supermodel wife Heidi Klum after five years of marriage.
Apparently he' is tired of jumping through hoops for her.

Wordplay Joke

I had a long think after winding up all my friends at a dinner party last night.
Maybe I'm too old to play with clockwork toys.

Wordplay Joke

I've just seen 2 men trying and failing to rescue Leonard Nimoy from a hostage situation.
Should have gone to SpockSavers.

Wordplay Joke

I've just seen 2 men trying and failing to rescue Leonard Nimoy from a hostage situation.
Should have gone to SpockSavers.

Wordplay Joke

I asked my girlfriend to marry me while we did rock climbing.
She told me to get a grip and left me hanging.

Wordplay Joke

Six foot of soil?
Over my dead body!

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend has an irrational fear of carnivals, so i've booked her in with a psychotherapist.
It's only fair.